If you read my last blog, you know that Vince and I have been recovering from COVID-19. We thank you all for the get-well comments, prayers and well wishes you sent.
And, while I’m not going to say that we’re 100% recovered yet, we are nearly there. I, for one, get pretty tired after walking the dog and doing other physical activity.
Like emptying the trash. Or watering the plants.
Okay, so I’m pretty much kidding on those. But we were both completely winded and worn out the other day from packing up all the Christmas decorations and hauling the heavy bins upstairs to the attic.
On the other hand, I was probably a little winded hauling the heavy bins downstairs in late November to decorate for Christmas. And that was pre-COVID.
Sheesh. I really need this virus to go away so I can get back to the gym and work out without wearing a mask!
So while there was very little to laugh about while we were sick, there were a few humorous things that happened to me while I was dealing with this virus.
Call it COVID brain, or ditzy blonde or senior moment – or maybe all three – but I did have a few duh situations.
Like one day when I was upstairs working on the computer. I was trying to finish something in between naps – and I needed to set a timer. I kept asking “Alexa” on my phone to set a timer for 20 minutes.
But she refused to comply. After about the third time asking, I got a little peeved and raised my voice to ask once again.
And that’s when I heard – very faintly from downstairs – “Okay, timer set for 20 minutes.”
Oops.
Apparently I couldn’t remember the difference between “Hey Siri” on my iPhone and “Alexa” on our Amazon Echo Show.
(Do you see me rolling my eyes and shaking my head?)
Another time I was tasked with walking Maggie even though I was feeling pretty rotten. Since Vince was feeling pretty rotten himself, but the dog still needed to do her business, we took turns.
Because it was so cold and rainy out, I put on one of Maggie’s little jackets over her harness vest. There are two D-rings attached to the harness – and those attach to the leash. Except that only one of the D-rings fit through the opening in the jacket. We’ve hooked her up this way many times before, so I didn’t think anything of it. I clipped her leash to the one D-ring and off we went.
Immediately I saw her nemesis from another neighborhood being led down the street past our house, so I hurriedly turned and walked Maggie the other way down the cul-de-sac. I really wasn’t up for the crazy dog barking that would ensue if Maggie saw him.
By the way, we have no idea what Maggie has against this little guy, but she goes absolutely bonkers whenever she sees him.
Anyway, there we were walking along minding our own business when suddenly I had the leash in my hand…but the other end was not attached to Maggie. The D-ring had somehow separated from the harness and Maggie was trotting along completely unaware that she was untethered.
Believe me, if she had known, she would’ve taken off like a shot. This is not a well-behaved dog when it comes to her freedom in the great outdoors.
But I tried to remain calm and I hurried along behind her so she’d think she was still attached to the leash. When she stopped to take a quick squat, I reached down and scooped her up.
Ha! Way to outsmart a 10 pound dog, Jane! But in my defense, I really didn’t think I was up for a Maggie on the Run incident right about then.
Oh, and by the way, I waited to scoop her up until AFTER she was done squatting. I was neither blonde nor senior enough – and I didn’t have a completely muddled COVID brain to know that I needed to let her conclude her business.
The last incident happened toward the end of our home confinement. We had placed a grocery order for pick-up – and I was planning to ride to the store with Vince so a store clerk could put the bags in our trunk.
Major outing, huh?
But as it was the first time in over a month that I was going to leave the house, I decided to slap on a little face paint.
It was like a little celebration for me – put on a bit of blush. Some undereye cover-up. Maybe even a little eyeliner and lipstick. You know – so I could feel almost normal again.
Anyway, I had just sat down in front of my makeup mirror. I spun my rotating makeup organizer to the section that holds my cover-up, pulled the one out that has a spongy tipped wand. I was feeling too lazy to actually get out a makeup brush and dab from one of the little pots of cover-up.
I looked like a football player about to go out and pound on the opposing team. All I needed to finish the look…well, besides swiping mascara underneath my left eye for a matching set…was a helmet and some shoulder pads.
At that moment, I thought to myself that I should take a picture of my idiot move, but given that the mascara was waterproof, I knew I needed to remove it. Stat.
So that’s what I did – the whole time shaking my head and laughing at myself.
And then I promptly returned the mascara to the Mascara and Eyeliner Section in the organizer and wondered who could have put it in the wrong section? Not me, certainly, as I’m perfect. Must’ve been one of the cats getting her revenge over our bringing a dog into the house.
Yeah, I’d believe one of the cats did it before I’d admit that I’m not perfect.
Heh heh. (There I go again – being a ditzy blonde, having a senior moment AND showing my COVID brain…!)
Maybe I need a nap. Yeah, that’s it.
Let’s just hope I don’t fall out of bed or something else equally as goofy!
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