Quarantine 15?

In the past week, Vince and I have planted flowers, dug tree roots out of the ground, and pulled weeds. I also helped him with his latest Farmer Brown scheme of building a raised bed in which to grow vegetables this summer.

This, as you may know, is wayyy more diggin’ in the dirt than I prefer.

Frankly, I’d prefer to keep my hands as far away from the dirt as possible. Like if I never had to touch a rake or trowel again, I’d be perfectly fulfilled and happy.

But when the neighbors’ dogs head straight for your yard to chew on the weeds for their daily doggie salad, well, you bite the bullet and start diggin’ and pullin’.

Despite these dirty, sweaty efforts, I find myself woefully unprepared for the summer.

Why?

Well, because I fear I have joined the ranks of those who have gained the Quarantine 15. You know – those fifteen extra pounds that creep up when you can’t get to the gym to work off all that comfort food you’ve been consuming over the past several stay-at-home coronavirus months.

Sure, walking Maggie Minx five or six times a day is helpful. And lifting and dumping 25 lb. bags of dirt into the raised bed in the 90 degree heat has to count as some sort of exercise. Doesn’t it?

But when I put on my favorite summer parrot shirt and it’s a little snug around the waist when I button it, well, that does not make for a happy me.

I guess it’s a good thing Farmer Vince is planting vegetables.

And it’s a really good thing I don’t know how to bake bread.

One of the biggest complaints we had during the height of the shelter-in-place order was that we couldn’t stick with the fresh vegetables and daily salads that we’d previously enjoyed. Only going to the store every couple weeks precluded having fresh lettuce and veggies on hand.

The other thing that was a little disconcerting during this time was that we found ourselves purchasing comfort foods like chips and cookies and cheese and bread. These are items we had pretty much eschewed while we have been living a healthier lifestyle the past couple years.

So I say it’s time to get back to that healthier lifestyle. Besides, I’m getting a little sick of the junk food, believe it or not.

Now we just need those homegrown veggies to hurry up and grow.

Bring on the salads – and I don’t mean the doggy salads in our flower bed!

The Old Green Leather Wallet

I was cleaning out some things today and I came across my mom’s old green leather wallet.

The wallet she has had for decades. The wallet that is falling apart at the seams. The wallet we tried many times to replace for her – only to have her stick with the old green one she already had.

She liked the smaller size of it. She liked that it didn’t have too many pockets and slots for credit cards. She liked that it had softened with age and she liked that she knew where the treasured photos of her husband and children and grandchild were.

 

She also knew which compartment held the ratty card on which she’d written the phone numbers and addresses of those important to her.

I hadn’t looked in the wallet since mom moved in to her memory care unit nearly four years ago. When she first arrived, she carried her purse. Mom never went anywhere without it and moving to a memory care unit was no different. While I knew she wouldn’t need a purse there, I didn’t try to dissuade her from bringing it.

But we looked inside her wallet so I could take her ID and health care cards and any other important information she carried. The only money mom had in the wallet was a $10 dollar bill, which she handed to me.

“Well, I guess I won’t be needing this anymore, she said. “Why don’t you keep it, Jane?”

I was already an emotional wreck having to bring mom to this place that I knew she’d never leave, so the act of handing over the last little bit of cash in her wallet almost did me in. I had to excuse myself for a moment to recapture a little composure.

When I rejoined her, she’d already forgotten about her purse, the green wallet and the ten dollar bill.

So when I came across her wallet in my purging frenzy today, it stopped me dead in my tracks. I hadn’t looked inside that wallet for ages.

I carefully opened it up and inside that old wallet were the parts of one’s life that seem mundane – until the person no longer has any use for them.

Inside her change compartment were, yes, a few coins – but she also carried some bobby pins for her hair. That compartment also held a religious medal – the same medal that mom gave me from time to time in moments of strife.

She meant to give me some peace by sending me that small token – but whenever I see those medals, I think of mom.  And while it brings a little sadness, it also does bring me a sense of comfort.

Also in the change purse was a small polished green stone. I suspect she picked it up on one of their many trips around the world. But I don’t think we’ll ever really know why that stone had such significance that mom kept it in her wallet.

I removed her frequent shopper cards for a grocery store and several pharmacies in Alliance.  

The card she always carried for the grocery store in Wareham had already been discarded. It could be that dad took it out of her wallet when they sold the cottage at the Cape knowing they’d never need that card again.

For some reason, she carried dad’s library card in her wallet, although perhaps they both used just one card when they borrowed from the library.

Or perhaps with the advancement of her dementia mom lost her library card and rather than replace it, they simply used dad’s card.  

But seeing dad’s signature on the back of the card brought me to tears. So many memories came flooding back.

I remember going to the library with them as a child and later visiting the bookmobile on my own whenever it came around my neighborhood. I’d check out as many books as I was allowed and then I’d struggle to carry them home careful not to drop any of my treasures.

I am incredibly happy that my parents instilled a love of reading in all their children – so much so that sometimes when we’d all gather together, we would quietly spend time together reading or doing crossword puzzles or jumbles.

Sometimes we’d all be so still, someone would invariably say, “Aren’t we a lively bunch?!”

But it was a comfortable silence broken only by someone commenting on an interesting passage or someone else asking for an answer to the clue in the crossword puzzle.

Nowadays, people can gather together and quietly spend time scrolling or texting or YouTubing or whatever it is they’re doing on their phones, but that togetherness doesn’t seem to have quite the same camaraderie.

In later years, I’d drive my parents to the small library in Wareham. Vacations at the Cape meant I got to catch up on lots of reading and I’d check out as many of the new best sellers as I could manage in the time I had there.

Dad went from reading regular books, to reading Large Print books and then later still when macular degeneration was winning the war against his eyesight, he’d borrow books on tape.

Mom, meanwhile, transitioned from historical novels and biographies to cookbooks where she could read snippets of dishes she’d most likely never prepare. But she always liked looking at cookbooks.

Toward the end of their visits to the library Dad would help her choose travel books where she could look at the photos and he’d help her try to recapture some memories of her time spent in those locales.

Finally, inside that old green wallet were photos of her husband and her children growing up. Our high school graduation photos were in there and tucked behind them were one or two of our grade school photos.  She also kept several photos of her granddaughter, Chloe, whom she adored.

There was a small black and white photo of dad taken in April of 1953 in Winnipeg. Dad was nattily dressed in a bow tie and an overcoat smiling as he sat on some steps in front of a vast pillar.

Shortly after they returned from their honeymoon, he had been given orders to report to an Air Force station in Winnipeg, the capital of the Canadian province of Manitoba. In later years mom and dad both recounted stories of that time, with her travelling by train to the remote station and staying with him in housing with no running water. 

It was a picture of dad that I don’t think I’d ever seen before. And it made me nostalgic for times that had passed and can never be recaptured again.

Much as that old green wallet captured snippets of mom’s life. She will never relive those times again, but in looking through her wallet, I got to experience some of those special moments in her life – and ours, too.

Oh, What a Night!

The other evening I took Maggie Minx for her 29^th walk of the day (this is only a slight exaggeration), and I happened to glance up at the sky. It was one of the most beautiful sunsets I think I’ve ever seen in Westerville, Ohio.

I was barely able to snap a quick photo before our abnormally strong 10 pound dog dragged me on our way. If she’s out, she could care less about the pretty sunsets. She just wants to sniff and leave some pee mail for her fellow canines as if to say: “Maggie Was Here.”

Like most of the neighborhood doesn’t know that Maggie. Was. Here. She can be rather, uh, vociferous on occasion. No one would ever deem her the shy, retiring type.

Anyway, back to the sunset.

On the way back to the house, I managed to snap another shot and this one may have been even prettier.

 

Not only that, but I glanced in another direction – and I saw a faint rainbow. Which made me think of my dad.

After my dad fell and hit his head in June of 2016, I drove my mom to Canton to visit him after he had been admitted to the ICU. This was the beginning of a three week odyssey of ups and downs and progression and regression that ultimately ended with his death.

But that first night, he was awake and alert and we had hope even though he looked awful and we were so very worried about him.

On the drive back home to Alliance, there was an incredible double rainbow that lit up the sky. And we hoped that was a positive sign that dad would come out of this.

While it was not meant to be, I can never see a rainbow in the sky without thinking about my dad.

Just as sunsets and clouds make me think of my mom. 

One of the things I noticed once Alzheimer’s had a firm grip on my mother was her fascination with all manner of meteorological happenings.  She constantly commented on the color of the sky, particularly on those days when the sky was a vivid cerulean blue.  

And she obsessed about the shape and type of clouds, which had me scrambling through my memory banks of sixth grade science class trying to remember the difference between nimbus and cirrus clouds.  (When we couldn’t differentiate between them, I was able to consult Google. Gotta love the Google.)

Anyway, I suspect that by this point, Mom had lost her grasp on current events and recent memories, so she was able to contribute to the conversation by talking about the clouds.

There were moments I was sad listening to her talk about the sky – mostly because my mother had been an incredibly intelligent woman and she was never without an opinion on pretty much any topic.  But she could no longer track a conversation and didn’t really participate in our back and forth banter.

So now, whenever I do take a moment and look up at the sky, I think about my mom and her ruminations about the sky and the clouds.  

And I think to myself that maybe it’s not such a bad thing – to stop what we’re doing and look up at the sky and reflect on how beautiful and amazing our world is.

Guess mom can still teach me a thing or two, can’t she?

So…thanks, mom.  I miss seeing you due to this coronavirus thing. I hope we get to be with you soon.

And I miss you, too, dad. So much.