No Internet Connection? However Will I Manage?

So the worst thing imaginable happened today. My internet was out. All. Day. Long. (Well, not quite. Most all day. Okay, maybe something like six hours so far. I tend to exaggerate when cataclysmic events occur.)

 

But, seriously. This is one of my worst nightmares. Sitting here with no TV to watch. No emails to read. No games to play on my phone. No Social Media to peruse. And, worst of all – no checking Amazon to see if they sell White Duct tape. (Don’t ask.)

 

But, OMG – it’s like we’ve descended into the Ice Age around here.

 

Actually, that’s not true since it hit 90-something degrees today. I’d be accurate and tell you more precisely today’s high temperature – but I don’t have Internet, so I can’t check my phone, my Apple watch OR ask Alexis. (Who just tells me she’s having trouble connecting and then shuts up and goes dark on me.)

 

I can’t remember the last time there was such an extended period of time without the Internet. Sure, there are the occasional storms that temporarily knock out the electricity and my WiFi. Once the power comes back on, I have to fiddle with the TV remote a few times checking connectivity, but it usually comes back on without incident.

 

So far I’ve gotten three text messages from AT&T telling me they’re “hard at work” restoring my Internet. When the first message popped up saying there was an Internet outage in my area and they expect to get it back on by 11:00 PM, I was a little nonplussed.

 

Usually they under-promise and over-deliver – so I figured we’d be back online in no time. Well, it is now six hours later and still nuthin’.

 

Maggie's either bored...or hot!

So I had to resort to other means of entertainment today. Like catching up on my laundry. And taking Maggie on extra walks. Which, frankly, I don’t think she much appreciated. It was hot out there.

 

I even read a book and wrote a letter.

 

Go me!

 

Actually, reading a book and writing a letter aren’t all that unusual. I write at least one letter a month, which is a definite slowdown from my younger years. I don’t want to shock anyone or anything by writing too much or too often.

 

And I’ve been a voracious reader since I was a kid, although I was off my game a bit after my mom and then Vince died. For some reason, it was hard for me to concentrate on the written page and I’d frequently finish a chapter having no clue what I’d just read.

 

But, since I’m back in book club with my old neighborhood, I’ve been reading a lot more. And, lately, I’ve also been reading a series of books written by a guy who lives in Northern Michigan (They’re the Ray Elkin series by Aaron Stander, if you were wondering). My cousin loaned me four of the books in the series and I told her last September that I’d read them and bring them back when I head up north at the end of June. That gave me ten whole months to read four measly books. I could do that in my sleep.

 

Yeah, not so much.

 

I ran across those four books on the shelf in my spare room and realized that the end of June was fast approaching and I’d either better get busy reading – or bring them back unread. Since I at least try to finish tasks that I commit to, I started a bit of a reading marathon the other week and finished the first four. Now I’m on the sixth book in the series. Guess I like them. They’re an easy read and keep me entertained.

 

Which, again, is a good thing since I Have. No. Internet.

 

Sheesh. You would think I spent my whole life “connected,” which I most assuredly have not since I predate Google by…several decades. (See? Here again, I’d check to find out when Google arrived on the scene…but I can’t.)

 

I do remember in the early 80s getting some sort of Intranet thing at Ross Labs and marveling at being able to send messages to friends on other floors in the building. I thought that was some SciFi kind of magic and was eagerly awaiting the next technological invention.

 

On the other hand, I do worry sometimes that, for some of us, our lives are SO connected that if we were to be globally hacked, we would be in such big trouble. Like me. Everything I do and everything I have is online. Passwords. Phone numbers. Directions.

 

I don’t even own a paper map anymore. And, with my sense of direction (or lack thereof), how would I get anywhere?

 

The other day I went to the bank to withdraw some cash. I rarely go to the bank to do, well, banking anymore – but I needed some actual bills for a couple of graduation gifts. Only I couldn’t remember my account number. Or my PIN. I knew the teller would be able to take my ID and look it up, but I was trying to be efficient and look it up on my banking app so I could write it down on the withdrawal slip. Except that I didn’t know where to find my full Account number – usually only the last four digits are displayed and you have to clickety-click somewhere to get the full number.

 

So the 20-something Teller showed the old lady Customer how to work her phone and get her account number. This was helpful at the time, but I’m not positive I will remember if and when there is a next time.

 

Anyway, my point is that I’m a prime example of how reliant I am on technology and the Internet these days.

 

What I intended to make. No "after" photo of
what I actually DID make.

I’m planning to meet with some friends later this week for dinner. I said I’d bring dessert, which was going to be some sort of lemon tart thing I saw on an online video. Except since we’ve been warned about this massive heat wave this week, I wasn’t sure I wanted to put any extra strain on the A/C by turning on the oven. So instead I figured I’d bring fresh fruit. And I saw this really cute tray of fruit that looked like a flower that someone posted on Pinterest. Only I can’t access it to see how they did it or what fruit they used.

 

So I can’t go to the grocery store until I have photo in hand (or more precisely, photo on my phone in hand).  Let’s hope this connectivity problem is resolved by tomorrow or else I may be tossing some grapes and strawberries on a tray and calling it a day. Sorry, ladies. My creativity was stunted by my lack of Internet access.

 

I guess it’s a good thing I can type this blog in my Word document. I just can’t post it until the Internet comes back. Nor can I upload any pictures to accompany the blog.

 

And I still can’t check Amazon to see if they sell White Duct tape. Dang. Let’s just hope in the meantime I don’t forget why I wanted to know if they make white duct tape in the first place.

 

 

Another Infernal Technology Update

Someday I’m going to figure out technology. Of course, the second I do, it'll change.

 

Why is this?

 

It has gotten to the point where I absolutely loathe updating my phone and anything remotely technical. Because whenever I do, apps do not work like they’re supposed to. Or I have to re-enter a password that is one of those “no hacker in the world will EVER be able to guess this one” created by the little bots hiding in my hard drive.

 

The only person who CAN’T guess those passwords is me.

 

And it usually happens at a critical time.

 

Like the other day. I was in a hurry and needed some groceries. I had overscheduled my day and needed to get gas, stop at the library, pick up groceries, get home, put them away – and then drive across town to meet a friend for dinner. All in a very restricted time span. 

So early that morning I sat down at my computer and placed an order for pick-up. It’s free if you spend a minimal amount – and I knew I wouldn’t have time to wander the aisles at Kroger.

 

But when I pulled into the parking spot, I noticed that they’d removed the phone number that you text when you arrive. Instead, the sign displayed one of those black and white QR codes that I had to scan to tell the store I was there.

 

QR Code for Jane's Domain!

When I scanned it, it took me to Kroger’s website where I was supposed to re-enter my password. That I couldn't remember. I mean, I was never one of those people who used “Password123” or something ridiculously simple that even a mediocre hacker could hack.

 

No, I used to try to create passwords that were a little more challenging – but were something that I could at least remember.

 

Not anymore. Like everyone else, I have about a bajillion sites that require passwords with numbers, letters, special characters and hieroglyphics. Not to mention the 2-step authentications, retina scans and a DNA test to prove I am who I say I am.

 

Yet, with all of that, how does my Facebook profile still get hacked??

 

Anyway, I was finally able to let the store know I was there by checking a text from them that bypassed having to re-enter a password. Fortunately, my frozen food remained frozen AND I was able to complete all my other tasks and get to my friend’s house on time.

 

Whew.

 

Recently, I noticed that my iPhone stopped recognizing my face. Yeah, iPhone, I AM a couple years older than I was when I set it up, but I don’t look that different, for cryin’ out loud.

 

So I figured I’d just start the process over again. But the very first screen where you move the phone around scanning your face didn’t work. So I fussed around with it for a while, then Google-searched possible solutions. Tried ‘em all.

 

Until finally – somehow – I was able to re-scan my face. Yippee!

 

Then I shut off my phone and turned it back on so it could get to the facial recognition screen.

 

And my phone refused to recognize my face.

 

Sheesh. Talk about a confidence killer. Now I’m old and apparently so ugly, iPhone won’t even talk to me.

 

During my research, I read that some folks had to take their phones to the store to be worked on. And that Apple wanted $200 to fix the problem. Uh, sorry, Apple. No can do.

 

I am fine with entering a six-digit passcode to get into my phone.

 

Except that I have an awful lot of two-factor authentications set up – and they require facial recognition.

 

Sigh.

 

But my iPhone is not the only technological culprit.

 

I recently had to update my laptop. It’s hooked up to a big screen so my poor little eyes don’t get overly strained while I work. But this complicates matters – because I’m never sure if I have to adjust the screen – or the laptop itself – whenever something goes haywire.

 

Like the volume/sound on my computer. I remember about a year ago after a computer update going through this same issue when I couldn’t hear anything. Videos would play, but there was no sound. I fussed and researched and tried multiple fixes and – miraculously – something finally worked and I had sound.

 

Figured that was the end of that issue – right? Oh, no, Skippy. Not so much.

 

Because the problem is back. I got on my computer the other day and clicked on a funny video (because the video maker told me it was funny – and they even told me to turn the volume up). But there was no sound. Even though I fussed and tried multiple fixes.

 

Guess I have to re-research audio solutions.

 

I wish I could remember the steps I took to fix problems when they occur. The only problem with that is that I end up fiddling around trying so many things that when I finally do get something to work, I have no earthly clue which steps worked and in what order.

 

If I tried writing down my process, it wouldn’t work the next time I tried it. Probably because I’m supposed to add steps in the middle like spin around three times, click my heels together and say a little prayer to those little bots hiding in this crazy technological world.

 

Maybe I should just go back to the olden days like my brother John. He is not “connected” in any way – doesn’t have the Internet or a router – and doesn’t have a single password he has to remember. I’m not even sure he knows what an “app” is.

 

He finally got a cell phone – except it’s a flip phone (I kid you not.)

 

He hasn’t mastered the “Press 4 twice for “H,” wait a second, then press 4 again three times for “I” – all to just say Hi. Hard to believe we used to do that to send text messages, eh?

 

But John has resorted to a complicated code of communication. He types “1” for yes/agreement/what he/she said and “2” for no/ain’t happenin’/don’t even get me started.

 

Fortunately, his college-educated siblings have been able to crack the code and the four of us have had actual conversations this way.

 

Nah. I can't go back. How would I express myself without access to emojis? And I'd end up thumb-texting in my sleep 'til I developed carpal tunnel. 

But I have so many more examples of the frustrations we all experience in the technological world, and no more time today. 

So I may write about them in a Part II. Or not. Depends on if my computer needs to be updated between now and then.