Who You Callin' "Tech Illiterate"??

I had a longer break from blogging than I intended. Why? Well…um…I guess I’m not as tech savvy as I thought I was.

 

See, my Microsoft Office subscription ran out in February. I needed to renew it. No problem. Bought a subscription card back in early January. Figured I was being a good Girl Scout and was all prepared well ahead of the expiration date. I was just waiting ‘til the last possible moment to add it so I wouldn’t “squander” the last days of the old subscription.

 

But here’s the problem. Vince had purchased Office 365 as a family plan. It was associated with his Microsoft user ID and password – and he had added me as a family member so I could have Office on my laptop as well. I didn’t know his user ID or password – and I didn’t want to use that anyway as it needed to be associated with MY user ID and password now.

 

Plus, I had purchased a Microsoft Office 365 as a Single plan since I didn’t need to add any other computers to my subscription.

 

So I (attempted) to follow the instructions. No luck. I entered the code and stuff was downloading or uploading or whatever loading. I was just assuming the magic would happen and I could get back on my Microsoft Word and start writing again.

 

Nope. I turned my computer off and on. And off and on again like a kid playing with a light switch. I Googled and YouTubed 'til I couldn't listen to one more person telling me how it was an "easy installation." 

 

By this point I could pretend to clearly explain to you all the other steps I took to fix what wasn’t working, but really I can’t. It would come out as Word Spaghetti. I have no clue what I did or how I did it and in what order I did it.

 

All I know is that nothing worked.

 

Every time I tried to get on my Blog document, my computer (metaphorically) smacked my fingers and said the software program had expired and I needed to pony up for another subscription.

 

This is when I’d screech at my computer, “I already bought it! I downloaded it! It’s there!!!” I might have even gestured a little bit. But I’m not confirming that – and Maggie Minx isn’t talkin’ either.

 

Yet despite my histrionics, the computer wasn’t swayed and didn’t seem to care one little bit. It didn’t even seem to mind my screeching, although I’m sure Maggie would have preferred I used my “indoor voice” as she has big ol’ sensitive ears.

 

So for my sanity – and my raw vocal chords – I had to walk away. But for good measure I gave my computer dirty looks every time I got a glimpse of it sitting calmly and quietly on my desk. Probably I even muttered a bad word or two under my breath.

 

I considered calling the Geek Squad, but that was going to be my last resort as I really hate computer techs mumbling “user error” (or worse) under their breath.

But when I couldn’t access any of the documents I needed to have my taxes prepared, I knew I had to figure out the problem.

 

So I stumbled around on the computer again and eventually got to a screen that asked for my subscription code. Shrugging my shoulders because I figured it couldn't hurt, I entered it once again. I worried it might say that the code had already been used and I’d be out some bucks unless I was able to find an actual human to talk to who could help – but I gave it a shot anyway.

 

I then shut my computer down, turned it back on and – lo and behold – I was able to access all my documents that had heretofore been held for ransom. (Cue the angels singing from on high.)

 

I was ecstatic! 

 

Well…except that suddenly all my documents were showing up with black backgrounds and white text. My poor old eyes were bugging out of my head – so I had to Google how to fix that weird glitch.

 

Once I remedied that problem, everything seemed to be well and good in Jane’s Domain.

 

Now I just need to catch up on all those blogs I was writing in my head.

 

I just hope they don’t come out as Word Spaghetti…

 

Another Edition of This ‘n’ That

It has been an interesting couple of weeks in Jane’s Domain. It all started with me slipping and falling on the ice while walking Maggie Minx one morning.

 

It was a balmy 39 degrees outside and much of the snow and ice had melted the previous day, but there were still patches of ice on the sidewalk.  And despite my careful sidestepping, I still managed to find that one small patch that sent me sprawling on the ground.

 

Immediately I did the furtive look-see to see who might’ve seen me take the tumble. Once I determined that there were no obvious observers (although who knows who was looking out their kitchen window at that precise moment), I began an inventory of my bones. Nothing seemed to be out of whack and no bones were protruding where they shouldn’t be, so I started the comical process of getting back up on my feet.

 

It was only then that I realized that I still had a hold of Maggie’s leash, which is a major accomplishment. Because if I had let go, Maggie would have taken off for points unknown with her leash bouncing merrily along behind her. 

 

But the fact that I hadn’t let go of Maggie’s leash wasn’t the biggest accomplishment that morning. No, what was even more impressive was that I still had a firm hold of her previously collected doggie poo bag.

 

Wow. Extra points for that little victory.

 

Because let me just say that if that bag had gone flying and anything inside it had come anywhere remotely near me, you would not be reading this right now. It would have been too disgusting for words and I would probably still be in the shower two weeks later.

 

So other than a sore left hand and arm, nothing was bruised or sprained or broken – and I felt exceedingly grateful. And I credit my heavy parka-like winter coat that evidently cushioned my fall.

 

By the way, I was not wearing my winter boots with the little spikes on them because – again – it had been above freezing and I figured I would be okay in just regular ol’ snow boots.

 

Still livin’ and learnin’, I guess.

 

The next morning, then, I donned the spikes – and felt completely silly as there was barely any snow left on the ground, let alone ice.  (Insert favorite idiom here…I’ll start: A day late and a dollar short...)

 

A few days later, then, I sat down at my trusty computer and penned the wittiest, most perfect blog ever. But did I post it? No. I thought I would wait until the next day so that I could add a photo or two and make any final edits.

 

Big mistake.

 

Yeah, sure it's autosaving...

Because when I sat down at my trusty computer the next day, the wittiest, most perfect blog ever was GONE. Not saved, even though I thought my autosave was autosaving my pithy writings every 2.3 seconds.

 

Not so much.

 

I was so traumatized, I can’t even remember what I wrote about and I couldn’t sit in front of my computer again for several harrowing days thereafter. Because I have never been able to recreate a blog – the words just don’t flow and I’m never satisfied with the second attempt.

 

(And I guess you’ll just have to trust me that it was the wittiest, most perfect blog ever!)

 

Hunh. Evidently my trusty computer is not so trusty, eh?!

 

Turns out that our yearly Microsoft 365 subscription had ended and my computer was no longer saving things. My computer was even sending out little death threats and ransom notes unless we ponied up the $99 for an update.

 

This is how little I know about computers. If I sit down at one and it doesn’t work, I have no clue what to do to fix it. Oh sure, I can turn it off and then back on, but that’s about the extent of my technical abilities.

 

Now here’s the worst part. Vince had already updated the subscription with the third and final key card that we had purchased when we bought his computer and, since it was for a family subscription, it should easily have covered my computer as well. Only when I asked Vince to make sure I was included in his “family” – and he did – his computer was not showing that he had updated the subscription.

 

Huh?

 

Yeah, that was my response, too.

 

We tried poking around on his computer. And on my computer. We tried reading the prompts offered by Microsoft. And we tried calling, but couldn’t get through to a real-life human. We even bothered our sister-in-law, who seems to be able to figure that sort of thing out, but she couldn’t make any headway either.

 

Points to Vince for his perseverance, because he finally reached someone at Microsoft (a guy in the Philippines who had live chickens squawking in the background), but he was extremely helpful and figured out the problem. Turns out that Vince has way too many email accounts and had used the wrong one.

 

Now my autosave is back on merrily autosaving every 2.3 seconds. I just need to make a note next year to renew our subscription before the ransom notes start appearing. Because I don’t think I could take another experience of sitting down to a blank page where hours before had been the most amazingly perfect blog ever.

 

Trust me.