Friendships as we Age (Part I)

Recently I attended a birthday gathering to celebrate a friend’s 50^th birthday. It was one of those cold winter evenings where I seriously considered staying home wrapped up in my fuzzy jacket and fleece blanket. Maggie Minx would be snoozing in my lap and I’d have my latest novel in hand reading about the main character summering in Greece.

 

Two reasons made me unwrap myself and head out the door, which were: 1) I had already taken off the fuzzy jacket and put on my go-out clothes, and 2) Maggie Minx was driving me nuts as I’d been home with her for two whole days without a break and she was whining to go out for a walk every 20 minutes.

 

Actually, there was a third reason – and that was, I missed seeing this group of friends and hoped to reconnect.

 

And, yeah, Reason #3 was the most important because I hadn’t seen some of these folks in a long time. And it turned out to be a wonderful evening, even if I didn’t specifically have conversations with some of them other than to hug and say hello.

 

I realize that, since Covid and Vince’s passing, I don’t get together with large groups of friends as much as I used to. Part of it is my fault in that I haven’t wanted to immerse myself in large group gatherings, but I also realize that we don’t seem to get together in large groups as much either ever since Covid.

 

There was a time we used to gather for every and any little thing. Birthdays, anniversaries, happy hours, weddings, sports, trivia, wine tasting, the first random warm Friday evening after a cold winter. You name it, we got together for it.

 

Now, however, we seem to pick and choose what events merit our presence.

 

Don’t get me wrong. There are still plenty of get-togethers. Some folks are in the ski club with activities like bowling, Euchre, softball and, oh yeah, skiing. There have been smaller groups who get together for trivia or wine tastings or happy hours. Some folks play in fantasy football leagues and get together for whatever reason they need to gather together for in fantasy football. (Clearly, this doesn’t include me as I don’t have the first clue.)

 

And I’m sure there are plenty of times couples get together for Saturday night dinner and movie dates or what have you.

 

fuzzy group photo

But attending this party and looking around the room made me realize that I’ve missed this. Someone took a few group photos, which was great. But people kept joining the party. So even after the photos were taken, maybe another dozen people arrived.

 

So while it wasn’t a close-down-the-bar late night for me, it was a thoroughly enjoyable evening and I’m really glad Kendra had a birthday we could help celebrate.

 

While I may not regularly attend large group gatherings, I do spend a lot of time with smaller groups and one-on-ones with friends. Meeting a friend or two for a meal or to do a little shopping or just hanging out together has been my jam.

 

Recently I was invited to go a movie with two of my friends and former neighbors. I’m not sure if it was a spur-of-the-moment thing or not, but I had already made plans with another friend and couldn’t join them.

 

Later, Meg texted me and asked what specific days/times worked for me to get together and do something.

 

Yeah, I wish I were that organized a person who had specific days and times available for scheduling. Instead, the week ahead I look at my schedule and if there isn’t much on it, I proceed to fill it up. You might ask me what’s going on next week and I might say, “Not a thing.”

 

Then, a couple of days later, I’ve got no availability.

 

And, let’s be real – I don’t have something going on every single day. After all, I’m not 25 anymore. Heck, I’m not even double that age anymore.

 

Some of us need naps.

 

Nevertheless, the week did turn out to be a busy one. Initially, I had the birthday party at the beginning of the week and dinner with a friend at the end of the week. Good enough. But then another group dinner with my TWIG group was scheduled and a wine tasting I hadn’t known about was planned.

 

So I had a busy week – and even though I could easily have stayed wrapped up in my fuzzy jacket and snuggly blankets with my dog in my lap – I’m so glad I went to each one. Because connecting with other people is important, particularly as we get older.

 

A friend I had breakfast with recently talked about why people have a harder time meeting new people and developing true friendships as we age – and it was interesting enough that I may talk about it in more depth.

 

But right now…my fuzzy jacket and snuggly blanket are calling my name. And Maggie is, frankly, due for her walk even though she isn’t whining too much at the moment. Better take her out before she starts.

 

Have a great rest of your weekend, everyone. Stary warm. And maybe call a friend.

 

Until next time…