Calamity Jane Strikes Again

 

Yesterday was one of “those” days. You know the ones where nothing goes quite right?

 

First thing I planned to do was a quick load of laundry before heading out to gas up the car and make a Costco run.

 

I scooped up an armful of clothes from the bin, walked to the laundry room (which, if you must know, is only about three steps away) and shifted the clothes to one arm so I could snag a laundry pod from the container with the other. I tossed the pod in the washer and then tried the same maneuver on the container holding the Scent Booster beads.

 

Except the Scent Booster container requires two hands to open.

 

Oh, sure, I have – in the past – managed to open it one-handed. But it has always been an iffy proposition with the container almost, but not quite, tipping over.

 

Yesterday’s attempt resulted in disaster.

 

The pink beads went flying all over the washing machine, the floor, the rug and even on the carpet in the hallway.

 

Only then did I drop the clothes on the floor.

 

And then I uttered a few choice phrases before attempting to clean up the mess.

 

I had to shoo Maggie Minx out of the way lest she think the pink beads were some sort of new toy to play with or treat to sample. After I got the laundry in the machine and started it, I cleaned up all those blasted pink beads in the hallway and then started picking up as many as I could in the laundry room itself.

 

And then I…well…I turned off the light and shut the door to the laundry room.

 

Yeah, I admit it – I left the mess on the floor.

 

But, really, I was just being considerate of my dog. She absolutely despises the broom and dustpan as well as the vacuum cleaner. Either one will send her into a frenzy. And, frankly, my nerves couldn’t take her crazed barking just then.

 

Instead, I waited until later after we’d gone for our late afternoon walk and she was chowing down on her dinner. She didn’t even notice she was still attached to her leash that was connected to the pantry door.

 

So I furtively grabbed the broom and dustpan and quickly swept up the mess, shook out the rug and had it all back to rights by the time Maggie finished her kibble.

 

Whew!

 

But was that the only thing that went wrong yesterday?

 

Uh, no. No, it wasn’t.

 

After the laundry room debacle, I thought I’d shaken it off. I mean, hey – it’s a good indicator that I was rushing and needed to slow down. And, really, how difficult is it to simply place the laundry pod and the scent booster in the washing machine first – and then get the dirty clothes from the bin and place them in the washer?

 

Not difficult at all. So, okay – lesson learned.

 

Between Maggie’s third and fourth walk of the day, I left for Costco. While my list is shorter these days, I hadn’t been to Costco in a while so I had quite a few things on my list.

 

After I flashed my card at the sentry, I opened my purse to put my card back in my wallet and extract my list. Except my list wasn’t anywhere to be found. And then I realized that it must have been on the dining room table where I had left it.

 

Sigh.

 

While items like lettuce and chicken and paper towels were easy enough to remember, I had a slew of vitamins I needed to replenish. And I had no idea if I needed to buy Vitamin D3 or E or…was it C Complex?

 

I had no clue.

 

And, sure, I could’ve simply bought a bottle of multi-vitamins, which could have taken care of the problem, but I like doing things the hard way. Evidently.

 

Nevertheless, I kept calm and simply decided to wait to purchase vitamins on my next Costco trip. I had already filled my vitamin and supplement containers for the next two months, anyway, so I’m really in no big hurry to buy replacements. It was more a “top of mind” kind of thing.

 

I paid for my groceries, loaded them in the car and headed for home.

 

Now, I don’t know if you’re like me – but I hate making numerous trips from the car to the kitchen counter with my groceries. I try to make it in as few trips as humanly possible.

 

Except that I’m getting older. And while I used to be able to make it in one trip with bags lining my arms to my elbows, I know those days are long over.

 

Besides, I had no plastic bags. We’re talking Costco, remember?

 

Instead, I had a cloth bin with handles and a heavy-duty reusable shopping bag that held the bulk of my purchases. And I also had things in the trunk that had to be carried in separately. Like the paper towels.

 

So I had the shopping bag over one arm and the cloth bin with handles in the other. I hefted them out of the trunk and I was almost in the kitchen – when my arms gave out, I lost my grip – and both the bag and the bin landed on the floor in a big puddle.

 

Not literally, fortunately, as there was only one liquid item in the bag in the form of a bottle of balsamic vinegar.

 

By this point, I couldn’t even muster any outrage. As a matter of fact, I started laughing because, I mean, what else could I do? And my mirth was mostly from the quizzical look on Maggie’s face and her little tilted head as if she were trying to say, What the heck is the matter with you today, lady??

 

So I started picking up the mess. I was happy that nothing was broken or mooshed beyond repair, although the package of pita bread was a little squished since the bottle of balsamic vinegar landed on top of it.

 

But I was grateful that the pita softened the blow and the bottle of balsamic didn’t break. Small victories – right?

 

After all that, I figured I’d done enough damage for the day, so Maggie and I spent the rest of the evening ensconced on the couch watching Netflix. Well, Maggie snoozed next to me while I watched TV.

 

And today? Well, I’m happy to report that there have been no calamities in Jane’s Domain.

 

So far.