The Cookie Factory

It’s the middle of January and I’m in Maui. As in Hawaii. How did THAT happen??!

Well, before I get into all that, I have to explain why it has been so long since I’ve written anything. I have written very few emails in the past few months. We didn’t send out a single Christmas card or letter this holiday season – the first time I’ve EVER missed since I’ve been an adult.

And I haven’t written a single blog since November.

So why the long delay? Well, besides the fact that I’m getting a tad bit lazy in my old age?

It’s because I took a seasonal job, which started in October. This was completely on a whim, mind you.

Evidently, my whims are not to be trusted.

My friend and neighbor, Suzy, took a seasonal job at Cheryl’s Cookies, a local “cookie factory” (as Vince calls it) that had gone national when it was purchased by 1-800Flowers a few years ago. But the main office and actual cookie factory is still down the road a piece in Westerville, which is near me.

When Suzy told me they were looking for additional seasonal help in Customer Service, I figured, Eh, why not? And went in on that aforementioned whim, applied, and was hired on the spot.

Fortunately, the job did not require me to speak to actual customers; I only had to respond to emails. This was a good thing, because I would not have been interested in dealing with upset customers over the phone.

The job started with a two-week training for four hours a day. And then, once we were considered trained, we moved to six-hour days. This was to get us conditioned for the 9+-hour day, six days a week efforts we ended up putting in once Thanksgiving passed and we headed into the mad holiday rush.

Who knew cookies were such a hot commodity these days? I really thought it was the one time of the year that people actually baked cookies at home.

Not so much.

We were told we could expect about 500 emails a day during the month of December, which is why they hire additional seasonal help. A normal number of emails might be anywhere from1-200.

Imagine our consternation, then, when we came in to five THOUSAND emails instead of five hundred. And no matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t make those numbers go down!

Problem was, the company implemented a new computer program/system a few months prior and the bugs had not yet been worked out. So we had production problems. And distribution problems. And shipping problems. We even ran out of cookies.

So we apologized. And gave back money. And apologized some more.

But we persevered. And, eventually, the numbers slowed down. The general manager held a meeting to discuss the problems and to thank everyone for their efforts. And the CEO of 1-800Flowers even flew in to do the same.

So it was definitely not business as usual. Which is a shame. Because I never want to go through that again.

I barely had time to put up a Christmas tree. I hurriedly shopped for all my gifts on Cyber Monday and, if I didn’t order gifts that day, I picked up gift cards when I shopped for groceries. And I only did that when we were completely out of staples like bread or milk.

I was exhausted most of the time. And the dog didn’t know what hit her – she had been so used to me being home to walk her whenever the urge came over her. Frankly, I think she likes to go out so often just to sniff out all the creatures that have been walking around her neighborhood rather than simply to tinkle.

But poor Maggie didn’t get that chance over the past three months. When I finally got home to take her out, she was desperately lunging at the door. So there was no sniffing pee mail at first.

Anyway, so that’s what I’ve been doing lately.

I apologize to those who normally get a card and a Christmas letter from us. I am sorry that I haven’t been in better touch. And I know I’ve missed some opportunities to write some good blogs.

Now I can’t even remember what those blogs were going to be about!

So I guess I’ll start from scratch.

And my next blog? Well, I guess I can tell you how we came to be vacationing in Hawaii.

The Proverbial Straw?

Have you ever been so tired you just wanted to cry? Where the smallest of disturbances threatens to push you over the edge? Yeah, well, that was me the other night.

We’d had a houseful of family over the Christmas holiday and our two new kittens were crazy balls of energy, and we’d been out to dinner several times and to COSI and to various friends’ houses for holiday visits. Added all up, it just left me plain exhausted.

On Saturday I looked at Vince and, in an admittedly VERY whiny tone, said, “I’m SO tired. I can’t believe I have to work tomorrow!” He, being the ever calming voice of reason replied, “No, you don’t, Janie. Tomorrow is Sunday.”

I swear it was right about that moment I heard the faint sounds of the Hallelujah Chorus sung by a choir of angels. Plus, I might have even gotten a little teary-eyed over the realization that I had at least one more day to recover.

We visited with some friends Saturday afternoon/evening and when I got home all I wanted to do was collapse on the couch. But our poor little kittens had been cooped up all day and wanted to play. So they ran around the place with the little bells on their collars jingling away, chasing each other, jumping on furniture they’re not supposed to be on, clawing stuff and basically being, well, kittens.

I promised myself that after I finished a few chores I’d get that chance to relax on the couch and then would head to bed early. So I cleaned kitty litter. And swept the floor where kitty litter had spilled. And refilled food and water bowls. And then I chased them around shooing them off the dining room table and the leather recliner, which they evidently think is their real scratching post.

Just watching them made me feel old and tired and cranky. I would have gone to bed right then and there, but I knew it wasn’t fair to the little furballs and I needed to give them a chance to burn off some pent-up energy.

Meanwhile, Vince, who was a little tired and cranky himself, went upstairs to bed.

So I sat on the couch resenting a little bit that I wasn’t able to head off to bed like Vince. And I almost regretted my decision to get not only one kitten, but two of them. Yeah, like one kitten wouldn’t have required just as much kitty litter cleaning and feeding and watering and shooing. The only benefit to having only one kitten as opposed to two is that perhaps I would’ve only had half as many scratches on my hands and arms and legs from the little, uh, angels.

Finally, I decided to just let them run and if they jumped up on the table or scratched the leather recliner, I’d let ‘em. So there I was almost asleep on the couch when I heard a crash from the dining room. I'm quite sure I did an exaggerated eye roll right about then, but I got up and went into the dining room...to discover that the kittens had knocked over a full glass of water that I’d forgotten about and had left on the table.

Yes, that was nearly the proverbial straw, but I clenched my teeth and got some paper towels to clean up the spill. I figured that at least it was water in a plastic cup and not a full glass of red wine in one of our crystal wineglasses. Small victories, eh?

Eventually, though, the kittens wore themselves out and climbed up in my lap, curled themselves into little balls, and fell asleep. Ah, bliss. It was nearly then that I fell asleep on the couch myself, except that Vince – wondering what had become of me – sent me a text asking me if I was coming to bed. The buzzing of the phone on the table woke up the kittens, who thought it was their kitty alarm indicating that it was play time. Again.

Sigh.

Nevertheless, I decided it was time to exert some authority, so I gathered them up and put them in their respective sleeping quarters and headed upstairs amid a chorus of loud meows as they registered their displeasure at being cooped up.

I felt bad, but I was so tired that I shut the bedroom door on their cries – and started to get ready for bed – with tears streaming down my face. Sheesh. What a baby! But, Vince, being the good husband he is, rubbed my aching neck and shoulders until I finally fell asleep.

It occurred to me sometime during the middle of the night that not only was I single the last time I had to deal with a kitten, but I was also 15 years younger. Plus I’ve never had two of them at the same time before. And kittens require a LOT of patience.

But they’re sweet and cuddly and are full of life and love. So I think we’ll keep ‘em. But the next time I make the decision to adopt a coupla kittens right before Christmas when we’re expecting a houseful of guests? I’m thinkin’ I’ll have to distract myself with a glass of red wine. A big one. Yeah, and I’ll drink it out of one of our crystal wineglasses. That should do it! And if it doesn’t, all I’ll need to do is take a quick gander at our surely by-then shredded leather recliner.