Trendsetter I Am Not

I’m not exactly what you would call “cutting edge” and I’m not much of a trendsetter.  Sometimes it takes me a while to get with the program and follow a trend.

And sometimes I avoid the program altogether.

Like, for instance, when the ripped jeans trend started, I couldn’t follow it. All I wanted to do was take a needle and thread to the tears in those jeans and stitch them back together.  Not the point, I know, but it was a look I could neither accept nor pull off.

Fortunately, my avoidance of cutting edge trends has saved me from later embarrassment a time or two.  As proof, I have two words for you: Parachute Pants.

Nobody looked good in those things and MC Hammer is still probably mortified. Sure, he made a lot of dough from his 80s hit, You Can’t Touch This, but in that getup who wanted to touch that? 

Enough said.

My trend avoidance isn’t solely related to fashion either.

When people stood around the proverbial water coolers at work discussing the latest doings on their favorite television shows, I was usually on the fringes staying silent because it was a series I hadn’t started following.  In fact, it’s only years later that I now know what the fuss was all about on series like Breaking Bad and Lost and Dexter.

Thank goodness for Netflix.

As a matter of fact, I have only just recently jumped on the bandwagon of a certain film series. You’ve probably heard of it – Star Wars?

Yeah, that one.  I had never seen a single installment of Star Wars. Ever.

I don’t know why, really. It’s not like I detest science fiction-type movies or anything.  After all, I really liked The Matrix and the Terminator and Men in Black.

Plus, Harrison Ford was pretty cute back in the day. (I still like him now, but would hardly call him “cute”!)

So when my sister, brother-in-law and niece were in town over the holidays and wanted to see Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens and asked me to join them, well, how could I refuse?

Besides, it’s not like I’ve been hiding under a rock for the past thirty-nine years since the first Star Wars movie premiered. I know all about R2D2 and Chewbacca and Princess Leia and her gold bikini. And something about Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia being brother and sister.  And, of course, I have heard the line, “Luke, I am your father” about a bajillion times – even though I also know it’s a misquote and Darth Vader never actually said those exact words.

Just for grins one time, I played a game of Star Wars trivia – and won. Go figure.  I must be good at guessing.  Or all that trivia passed through my subconscious at one time or another through the years.

So now I can no longer say that I’ve never seen any of the Star Wars movies. And who knows? I may even have a Star Wars movie marathon so I can really make sense of this latest installment.

 

Just don’t expect me to change my ways and become a cutting-edge trendsetter.

I have only ever worn green or blue nail polish when my Halloween costume demanded it and I don’t understand ombre hair. It still looks to me like someone forgot to make an appointment with their stylist. 

And speaking of hair…don’t even get me started on the whole man bun thing…

That’s a trend that needs to go away. Now.  Because it's unlikely that I’ll be around in another thirty-nine years to finally get it.  

Feeling Ancient

The other day I watched one of those BuzzFeed posts about teens who were born in the late 90s reacting to flip phones, like the Razr. 

It made me feel ancient.

And to think that back then I believed I was on the cutting edge with my stylish hot pink Razr cell phone.

Just goes to show you that even if you are “cutting edge” today, you will one day be considered a relic.  And with the technological advances these days, it doesn’t take all that long either.

These kids couldn’t believe that people didn’t have access to the Internet from their cell phone back in the “Dark Ages,” also known as the 2000s (The oh-oh’s? The noughties? The double-oh’s?). Whatever we called the last decade, we surely didn’t understand how painfully old-fashioned our cool little flip phones really were.

These kids also had a hard time grasping the fact that on many of those flip phones you couldn’t take selfies. Or that there were some flip phones that didn't even have a screen. They weren’t sure how to work a phone without a screen.

But the worst part of flip phones? Texting. It was an absolute nightmare! You had to use the keypad and punch the “7” four times to type in the letter “s,” for instance.

Ah, such silly people we were who lived through the 00s with flip phones. We couldn’t imagine that someday our iPhones and Galaxies would be glued to our hands keeping us entertained every second of the day by allowing us to access every social media forum imaginable. Not to mention the gaming possibilities. And the texting possibilities. And the photo opportunities. 

We were goofy because we generally used them to, I don’t know, talk to folks. Texting was used sparingly, if at all. And we certainly didn’t have conversations via text.  We figured that’s what the phone part was for.

So it wasn't as easy or as convenient as it is today.  But neither did we have “Text Thumb Syndrome” or laws telling us it wasn’t safe to text and drive. Before we got the first word typed in, we’d have crashed into a stop sign – so we knew well enough not to try.

The kids were impressed that those old flip phones seemed to be indestructible. Cases were not generally necessary as there was no big glass screen that could crack and render the phone useless.  Hey, score one for us ancient cell phone users.

And the other thing the kids liked about the flip phone was the ability to snap it closed.  They felt the same buzz us old-timers used to feel when we ended a call and snapped it shut.  Or, if we were angry with someone and we wanted them to know it – we got a certain satisfaction when we snapped our phone closed.

Of course, the flip phone was nothing compared to the old-fashioned landline phones we used to have.  There was something definitive about hanging up on a telemarketer by banging the handset back into the cradle. 

We used to know how to “hang up” a phone.  Kids today are not even sure why we say that. 

So, yeah, I sometimes feel ancient. And I worry that I’m going to have to ask the “youngsters” someday soon how to do things like access my contact list or dial a number.  Of course, they might not know.  They might look at me quizzically as if to say, “Why don’t you just send a text, old-timer?” 

If we’re even sending texts in the near future.  Who knows? We might be sending telepathic messages, provided we’re on the same bandwidth as the person with whom we want to telepathically communicate. 

Ack.  I'll bet that set-up will be a nightmare for those of us whose cutting edge days are long gone.

Let’s hope that there’s still a “help desk” – or at least an understanding third-grader – willing to give us some assistance.  

We’re gonna need it.

And, just to stay sane, I think I’m going to stop watching BuzzFeed. Well, at least whenever they feature kids who are supposed to react to something us hopelessly old-fashioned, out-of-touch, old-timers used to think was cutting edge.