Goin' Hog Wild

So what is a person to do when most of their summer activities have been cancelled due to COVID-19?  Sit at home and twiddle their thumbs?

Yeah, pretty much. Although the art of thumb twiddling has probably given way to thumb texting on smart phones. Which is a little different, I suppose.

Anyway. This year there are no swimming pools, no beach getaways, no summer concerts or big cookouts or summertime gatherings.

I didn’t realize how much I looked forward to all these activities until they weren’t open and available.

Every August, my friend Sue and I spend an entire day at the Ohio State Fair.  We walk from the back of the fair to the front and take in all the sights and sounds. We shop at some of our favorite vendors. We marvel over the annual butter sculpture and take the requisite

2019 Ohio State Fair Butter Sculpture

photos.

And, because Susan goes completely bonkers over any and all animals, we have to stop in and see the bunnies and chickens and cows.

We eat our favorite fair foods and drink frosty cold Lemon Shake-ups. And then, before we head to the exit, we make a final stop and top it all off with a funnel cake sprinkled liberally with oh-so-messy powdered sugar.

We’re pretty much in hog heaven all day long – and it’s something we look forward to all year long.

But this year the Ohio State Fair has been cancelled and I was sad to miss out on our annual visit.

So when Sue invited me to go with her to a small Madison County Jr. fair the other day, I jumped at the chance.

2020 Butter Sculpture?!

Yeah, I know. This is what extreme boredom will do to a person.

There were no rides or vendors. There were no butter sculptures. And there was mask wearing and social distancing going on.

But there were a few food trucks and we were thrilled that one of them sold funnel cakes.  We were in hog heaven!

Uh, maybe literally.

Because we sat down to share the funnel cake in a small arena where a “Swine Showmanship” event took place.

I had no clue what this sort of event was and I was fascinated as these kids competed with their pigs tapping on them with a stick left and right as they waddled around a dirt-filled ring. (The swine were waddling, that is…not the kids.)

There were as few as six swine in the ring – to as many as nine at any one time.  And there was but one judge who had the difficult job deciding last place to first place finishers.

I had no clue what was happening – and I couldn’t tell who was winning and who was losing.

So – because we were ignorant of the finer nuances of the competition, Sue and I took to making bad puns and jokes.

Sue started it, though. When the first group came out into the ring with pigs meandering around in no coherent manner that we could discern, Sue said it looked like they were trying to herd a pack of wild kittens.

And then I said something about one of the pigs going hog wild because he wasn’t following his handler’s directions.

Hey, trust me - we did the eye rolling thing at ourselves and at each other, too, so no worries.

Plus, it only deteriorated from there, so I’ll spare you the details.

But at least we had fun. And we really did have mad respect for all those kids who had spent the better part of a year raising their pig and training it for this competition.

So we finished our funnel cake and wiped off every last bit of powdered sugar before putting our masks back on to head back to the car.

And, while it couldn’t possibly compare to the Ohio State Fair, we had a great time.

After all, that’s what counts – right?

And hopefully next year life will return to normal (I’m being optimistic). When we can once again take photos of the butter sculpture and drink Lemon Shake-Ups and eat some delicious fair food and end the day with a funnel cake with powdered sugar.

So even if your weekend doesn’t include watching a swine competition, I wish you lots of fun and happiness in whatever you do.