My Incompetence Sometimes is "Sew" Amazing

Vince and I have this standing joke between us about the narrow room down in our lower level near the furnace room. He calls it my “sewing” room and I call it the “craft” room.

Actually, it’s neither. Right now it’s a storage-slash-junk-slash-kitty litter room.

To make it either of those other rooms, however, would require primer and paint and the installation of new flooring – none of which I’m adept at doing.

So for now it remains a storage-slash-junk-slash-kitty litter room.

I made the mistake once of briefly mentioning in passing to my husband that I used to sew. Emphasis on the “used to.” But he took it as fact. Evidently, he must think sewing is like riding a bike.  Once you learn how, you never forget.

I beg to differ.

Especially after today. Because I've come to the sad realization that that room will never EVER be truly a “sewing” room.

For two years I’ve worn this heavy winter coat – mostly on those frigid winter mornings I have to climb out of my warm bed to walk the dog before the sun is up. On those mornings, in particular, this coat keeps me amazingly toasty. It feels like suede on the outside with a furry, plush lining on the inside. And it has a high furry collar that keeps my neck and chin so toasty that no scarf is required.

However, the buttons – every single one of them – have pulled loose and are, literally, hanging by a thread.

I have been promising myself to find the needle and thread and get to work on those buttons to firmly reattach them to the coat, but I am incredibly proficient at finding other things to keep me occupied.

Vince and I are spending the day in Cleveland tomorrow with his daughter and grandchildren. And there is snow in Cleveland. And it’s going to be really cold in Cleveland. So I thought I might wear my amazingly warm winter coat.

Thus, I decided that today was the day to fix those loose buttons.

I found the needle and thread. And I pulled the coat off the hanger and took it to the living room to work on it.

So far so good.

I then managed to thread the needle without incident. But that was about the extent of my sewing prowess.

Because I spent the next hour jabbing my finger with the needle, getting the thread all tangled up and generally making a mess of the project. 

I’ve never had a coat that had the large button on the outside and a smaller button on the inside. I wasn’t sure how or where to tie it off. And I couldn’t successfully push the needle down through the large button and hit the hole on the small button underneath.  Not without a lot of cussing and repeated attempts, anyway.

This is where a lot of the needle jabbing occurred. And, yeah, yeah – I know I could have searched for a – whatchamacallit? A thimble (yeah, that’s it) to protect my digits, but I’m not even positive I’ve ever successfully used a thimble.

Hey, what can I say? I took a sewing class in either 8^th or 9^th grade. That was practically a lifetime ago!

Eventually, however, I managed to finish that first button. A 10-minute break was then required before starting on the next one. Mostly because I wanted to check to make sure no blood was dripping from all those needle jabs.

Plus, once the cussing stopped, Maggie trotted into the living room, took one look at that comfy coat and jumped up on the couch, did her doggie circling thing and then laid down right on top of my sewing project.

I could’ve taken that as a sign that I should quit, but I shooed her off my lap. And, okay, so it was only after another 10-minute break. But eventually I got to work on the second button.

I’d love to report that all buttons are now firmly affixed to the front of my coat, but I did quit before the last button was finished. Why? Well, because…um…I had to take the dog for a walk. And then I had to collect the trash since it’s garbage day tomorrow. And I had a load of laundry that wasn’t going to fold itself and magically disperse into the proper drawers or hangers.

So once I finished all my chores, I took a look at the needle and the thread and the coat…

…and I decided that I could just wear another coat tomorrow.

It’s probably not going to be all that cold.

And maybe by the time I get back to fixing that last button, all the needle jabs will have healed.

Either that – or I find the name of a good seamstress. Probably they know how to use a thimble.