Do you
ever have one of those days where you wake up planning to accomplish certain
things…but your day ends up nothing
like you planned?
Well, that
was my day on Saturday.
My friend
Karen and I planned to go to a garden center to pick out some perennials to add
to my flowerbeds and then I planned to come home, do some work around the house
and then take the dog for a long walk.
And then I was even planning to make an actual meal from scratch for my
husband for dinner. It was one of those “Tasty”
recipes I saw on Facebook that not only looked tasty, but actually looked do-able.
The plan
was to meet Karen at a centrally located Bob Evans parking lot so we could carpool
to a garden center about 10 miles farther north. I thought we were to meet at 11:00; Karen, on the other hand,
distinctly heard me agree to meet at 10:00.
Oops. My
bad.
Now, there
are moments when I’d absolutely believe that I was right, but in this case I
acquiesced immediately. Why? Because when we finalized our plans, I was
swirling in chaos. I had my phone in one
hand and Maggie pulling on the leash that was tethered to my other hand – and a
neighbor was standing outside next to me waiting to talk. It’s a wonder I managed to remember the day
and location we were to meet, never mind the exact time.
So on
Saturday morning as I started applying mascara, I had this niggling little
concern that I didn’t have my facts straight, so I sent Karen a text confirming
the time. She replied that she was
already there waiting on me.
Ack. This is the precise moment when you realize
you can move much faster than you think you can. I immediately dropped the mascara, pulled my freshly
washed hair in a wet ponytail, grabbed my purse, tossed the dog in her crate
with an air kiss and flew out the door.
It was
only much, much later when I looked
in a mirror and realized I never actually managed to apply mascara to my left eye,
so I spent the day walking around looking slightly deranged.
And this
is the not the worst I would look all day either – but more on that in a
moment.
Fortunately,
Karen is a good friend and she didn’t take one look at me and ask, “WHAT is
WRONG with your face?” She may have thought it – but didn’t say it. Probably because she knows me well enough to
know I didn’t have a spare tube of mascara in my purse with which to correct
the error. Plus, she probably didn’t want me taking a detour to the nearest CVS
to pick up an emergency tube of mascara. I was already late.
Anyway, we
agreed to meet at the plant store so she didn’t have to hang around the Bob
Evans parking lot, and I broke every speed limit getting there so I wouldn’t be
far behind…er, I mean, I drove precisely
the speed limit and yet still managed to arrive only a few minutes behind
Karen.
We then
wandered around the grounds oohing and aahing over pretty flowers, many of
which I knew not to even try to plant in my flower beds as they would
immediately shrivel up and die under my care.
If the label said either “Hardy” or “Jane-Resistant” in my cart it went.
I ended up
buying a selection of perennials that Karen recommended. While I may purchase a
few annuals, I have never really understood how people can spend so much time
planting flowers in the dirt only to dig them out again 3-4 months later after
they die. And then repeat the process all over again the following year.
If I could
get away with it, I’d be the crazy lady on the block who sticks plastic flowers
in her garden. Fortunately, I have Vince to stop me from taking that drastic step. Well, it’s either Vince – or the threat of
receiving a letter from our Homeowner’s Association rescinding my membership.
And, yeah,
yeah – I hear ya. Digging in the dirt is “therapy” – right? It relaxes you – right? Not me. Whenever I dig in the dirt, I feel
sweaty, sunburned and am desperately seeking a bubble bath after a mere 10
minutes. And then I’ll see bugs and worms and maybe even snakes. When that
happens, the trowel goes flying one way, the gardening gloves go flying another
and I immediately retreat to the indoors where the worst thing I have to deal
with is breaking up a squabble between the dog and the cats.
But,
anyway, back to my story.
Despite my
misgivings, I also bought a beautiful pink hibiscus tree. And, yeah, it didn’t
say “Jane-Resistant” so I’ll probably need to hire a horticulturist to keep it looking
beautiful – and alive.
At any
rate, we paid for our purchases and a kindly gentleman helped me load
everything into my car.
Because
Karen and I planned to drive down the street for lunch, I cracked open the car
windows as well as the sunroof so my plants wouldn’t wither up and perish
before I even made it out of the parking lot of the garden center.
We took
her car to the restaurant since the hibiscus took up pretty much the entire
passenger side of my car and I figured Karen would prefer not having to straddle
a tree.
So we enjoyed
a leisurely lunch and chatted about many things and, after the check was paid,
she looked outside and said, “Oh, look at the rain,” which was coming down in
veritable sheets.
We sat
there for about 10 seconds listening to the soothing sounds of running
water. And then just as suddenly looked
at each other and cried out simultaneously, “THE CAR WINDOWS!”
Despite our
mad dash to her car, we were completely soaked.
My hair was dripping wet and my glasses had so much rainwater on them, I
couldn’t see. It felt as though I’d just gotten out of the shower completely
clothed. Ick.
We arrived
back at the garden center and I made another mad dash to my car, which was just
plain silly as I couldn’t have gotten any more drenched. Besides, there was a
little lake forming on the inside of my car by that point and it would have
been futile to wipe off my car seat before I slid in.
Fortunately,
I had some napkins in my purse as well as a single towel, so I wiped as much of
the rainwater off my glasses first (so I could see to drive) and then the dashboard
and seats.
 |
| (Cuter than an actual drowned rat!) |
When I looked
in the rear view mirror, it was then I realized I not only looked like a drowned
rat, but a deranged drowned rat with one mascaraed eye and the other, well, not
mascaraed.
Yeesh.
This is
when I should’ve made the decision to go straight home. But did I? Noooo.
My other
friend Sue called just then to tell me she was at the car dealership and was at
that very moment waiting for my husband in the finance office to finalize her
deal. She said she would have to wait a while as it was a busy Saturday – but she
was so excited about her new vehicle.
Her excitement caught on and I told her I was one exit away and would drive
there and keep her company.
You should
always look like a deranged drowned rat when you visit your husband’s place of
employment – right?
Nevertheless,
I did. By this point, the sun was shining and it was, once again, a beautiful,
sunny day. Go figure.
But I met
some of Vince’s new coworkers (who probably looked at me and then at the photo
he has of me on his desk from a wedding we went to and thought, Photoshopped. Has to be.
 |
| Not me - but you get the idea... |
I wanted
to say, “But…but…both eyes that day had mascara. And…I wasn’t caught in a
downpour. And…
Well, it
didn’t matter. First impressions and all.
I hugged
Vince and then my friend Sue and wished them both well as they needed to get
down to business – and then I asked if I could get my car washed. I know – it had just been through a downpour,
right? But it was still dirty.
So Sue’s salesperson
took me over to the car wash bay and the car-washer-guy said he’d work on it
and I should wait in the comfy chairs in the waiting room.
When he
came and got me about 20 minutes later, he didn’t comment on why I had a hibiscus
tree strapped to my passenger seat. Nor did he comment on my still damp clothes
and ratty-looking hair or on my half-mascaraed eyes.
After I
explained the plant store/open windows/flooded car story, he DID, however, admit
that he took a selfie inside my car with his new best friend, the pink flowered
tree. And he DID tell me he thought he must have left one of my windows down
when he ran the car through the carwash, which is why there was so much water
in the backseat and which he then frantically wiped out lest he get in trouble.
So I had
to laugh. And later I realized he did a far better job of wiping down the
backseat of my car than I would have.
My car
looked perfect as I rolled away from the dealership – but then I looked up –
and the sky was darkening again. Uh oh, I thought, I wonder if I can get home before it starts raining again?
The answer
would be no.
Well,
perhaps I could have made it home
before the rain once again started – if only I hadn’t taken the wrong exit.
Sigh. When I finally arrived home, I unloaded
the plants and the tree in the pouring rain and then trudged inside once again dripping
more water from my clothes. I was totally worn out from my unexpected day and
too tired to take off the mascara on my right eye.
And don’t even
ask me how the “Tasty” recipe was for dinner that night.
It’s a
story for another day.
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