White Lexus Guy

Unlike today’s sunny commute, my drive to work yesterday morning was a little crazy what with all the wind and the rain. Before I even left my neighborhood I had to dodge two trash cans that were rolling around in the street. And, no, I didn’t get out in the driving rain to put them back where they belonged. I figured they’d just blow over again and I, in the meantime, would arrive at work looking all soggy and bedraggled. Apparently I only do good neighbor deeds when the elements outside are favorable.

So once I detoured around the runaway garbage cans, I faced the fun that is rainy day freeway driving. Turns out that we weren’t driving as slowly as I expected, which was a nice surprise, but we weren’t cruising along at 65 MPH either. If you subtract about half of that speed you’d be just about in the right range. Which is also known as “slow-and-go” but is not nearly as bad as “stop-and-go.”

On the other hand, I had my wipers on the fastest setting, which is something I rarely do, so it was raining pretty hard out there. Slow-and-go was probably not a bad thing.

Naturally, there was at least one crazy driver out there keeping me entertained. Well, either entertained or annoyed. Depended on the moment.

This guy, in a white Lexus, started out two cars ahead of me in the center lane as I entered the freeway. After a few minutes when there was a half a car length between two vehicles in the left lane, he swooped in and bridged the gap. The car he pulled in front of had to slam on his brakes, of course. So this annoyed me right off the bat. I mean, what an idiot. I even shook my head and muttered, “What an idiot.”

I don’t think he heard me, though.

Immediately thereafter my attention was brought back to my own lane. It was, after all, raining pretty hard and I didn’t want any drivers around me slamming on their brakes because of something I did and looking at me and muttering, “What an idiot.”

Anyway, under normal circumstances, I’d promptly forget all about White Lexus Guy. Except that the center lane (where I was) started moving ahead faster than the cars in the left lane (where White Lexus Guy had just bullied his way into). So he swooped back into my lane – right behind me. I’m not positive, but I have to assume that the person in the car that had previously been directly behind me had to slam on her brakes.

So now White Lexus Guy was front and center in my thoughts. I didn’t think he was impaired as I’ve sometimes thought of drivers on the freeway – but he was driving recklessly all the same and I just wanted to get away from him.

We all continued on down the road and White Lexus Guy managed to behave himself for approximately 3.2 seconds before he got tired of following me – and he swooped into the far right lane.

More brakes were hit. There was probably more swearing and muttering. And “idiot” might have been a term of endearment rather than what folks were by now calling White Lexus Guy.

Now, in my opinion, the right lane is never a good idea since cars are merging onto the freeway and the right lane is usually the slowest as they have to allow those cars in. So White Lexus Guy was now several cars behind me.

By this point I was laughing at White Lexus Guy. He was spending so much time switching lanes, he was now about five cars behind where he was when he started. He was losing ground rather than getting to his destination faster by all that swooping from one lane to the other.

And, yes, I did, as a matter of fact, count how many times White Lexus Guy switched lanes. Thirteen. Thirteen times. He started out ahead of me and, by the time I ditched him and exited the freeway, he was pretty far behind me.

What an idiot.