My Super-Secret Vow

The other day Vince asked me to stop at Macy’s to pick up a pair of work boots for him. He’d gone to another mall the day before, but they didn’t have the correct size and color in stock. However, according to their trusty computer, the Macy’s near our home had the pair he needed.

I reluctantly said I would go pick them up. And I did. But it was tough.

Why did I just use the word “reluctantly”? Could it possibly be that I hate shopping? (Well, if you know me at all, you know that’s a silly question!)

Normally, if someone says the words “Mall” or “Shopping’ my eyes light up and I get all happy. I react just like Pavlov’s dogs. I start salivating and I swear I hear bells dinging.

So…what? Do I think Vince has too many shoes already? (Nah. We can pretty much count on one hand the number of shoes Vince owns while counting the shoes in my closet requires a calculator.)

No, the reason I didn’t want to stop at Macy’s is that I made a super-secret vow to myself to stay away from the mall for the first quarter of 2012. Well, actually, to be more accurate, I vowed not to buy any clothes or shoes for the first quarter of 2012. If my vow was just to stay out of the mall, I suppose that technically I could buy clothes and shoes at stores other than the mall or even online.

So while my vow wasn’t really to stay out of the mall, it sure makes it harder to keep it if I’m traipsing through Macy’s all the time.

Nevertheless, I bravely faced the Polaris Mall. I chose the entrance right by the Men’s Department because I don’t salivate all that much in the Men’s Department. So I walked right up to the sales counter by the Men’s Shoes and showed the clerk the computer printout and said I needed those specific shoes. No browsing required. He went to the back and came back with a box and I whipped out my credit card and paid for them.

That was easy, I thought. And relatively painless.

This would be about the time in the story where I tell you that I turned on my heel and walked right out of that mall. But…um…I didn’t.

Well, see, for one thing, I’d purchased a cheapo watch at Macy’s before Christmas that was already falling apart. So I went downstairs to the watch section, which admittedly is a little too close to the Women’s Shoes Department. I mean, I could very nearly detect the aromatic scent of new shoe leather.

But I ignored the siren call of all those shiny new shoes and boots and instead focused on the watches. The clerk was very helpful and was willing to exchange it for the same watch, but I was concerned that the same watch would have the same problems. She offered to give me credit, but then I wouldn’t have a watch to wear. I know most people these days check the time on their ubiquitous cell phones, but I am old-fashioned enough that I feel uncomfortable if I don’t have a watch strapped to my wrist.

So I picked out another watch. A little nicer watch than the cheapo one I had bought before Christmas, but not an expensive watch or anything. And I still had a Macy’s gift card that I was able to use – so my out of pocket expense was maybe 20 bucks.

So I was happy with my purchase. But did I feel guilty buying a new watch? Yeah, a little. I mean, I really didn’t break my vow since I specifically said I wouldn’t purchase any clothes or shoes. And I didn’t buy and new clothes or shoes. I didn’t even walk by those departments.

But perhaps my vow should have included a few more categories. Like watches and jewelry. Oh, and maybe makeup and perfume, too. Ugh. I’ll need to stick to shopping only at the grocery store if I even hope to keep a new vow like this!

On the other hand, if I can’t spend any money at all (other than the grocery store, which is no fun whatsoever), I might explode.

So maybe I should just stick to my original vow. I could go ahead and add “And Stay Outta The Mall.”

I probably can manage that. We’ll see…