Bridesmaids. Gross.

We splurged on a premium movie on cable the other night, mostly because neither of us felt like going out to one of the ubiquitous Redboxes around town.  The closest one to us is a mere 1.45 miles away, but we didn’t really want to stand outside Kroger’s wearing our jammies. 

So we spent five whole dollars and watched “Bridesmaids.”  I’d heard how hilarious the movie was – and, since I was a recent bridesmaid myself – I thought I’d get a lot of yuks out of the film.  I thought I’d recognize all those pre-wedding bridezilla “moments” that surely every bridesmaid has experienced. 

Well, except for my bridesmaids, of course.  I was the epitome of a calm, cool bride who didn’t put an iota of stress on her bridesmaids.  And, no, I am not giving you their names so there’s no point in trying to check the veracity of my statement. 

Oh and, uh, that one moment shortly before the rehearsal dinner?  We’re not counting that. 

Anyway, I’d read that Bridesmaids was a female buddy movie and that it IS possible for women to carry a comedy based on the nonstop laughter the movie inspired

Yeah, not so much.

Maybe it was just me, but I thought the movie sucked.  I didn’t laugh.  This was very disappointing because I really wanted to (a) spend a couple hours laughing while watching a funny film and (b) pump my fist in the air in support of Girl Power.  Alas, I didn’t do either. 

The early indication that it wasn’t a great movie was when after only about 10 minutes Vince let go of my hand, got up and went over to his computer to do some Facebooking.  He played a little backgammon, checked out the status of his 9,000 friends and generally ignored the movie.

I, on the other hand, sat rooted on the couch with a look of horror and disgust.  Have you seen this movie?  The scene at the chichi bridal shop where all the characters suddenly experience a nasty bout of food poisoning?  I wouldn’t have laughed if it had been a bunch of guys blowing chunks and fighting each other for the use of the toilet, let alone a bunch of women.

That scene was just plain nasty.

Plus, I couldn’t really get over my dislike of Kristen Wiig as the lead in the movie.  I kept expecting her to break into one of her annoying characters from Saturday Night Live.

Actually, the entire movie seemed sort of like a skit from SNL that ran on way too long and went awry somewhere along the way.

Oh well.  They can’t all be hits.  In my mind, anyway.  For all I know, the flick could’ve broken all sorts of box office records and the producers don’t care one little whit whether or not I liked their movie.  They’re probably laughing all the way to the bank.  Meanwhile, my bank is five dollars lighter thanks to them. 

I wonder if my opinion of the movie would’ve been different had I seen it at the theater along with a big crowd.  Maybe hearing other people laugh would’ve inspired me to do the same.

Or maybe not.  I think maybe I’ve just moved beyond that sort of gross-out humor.

Next time I’ll let Vince pick the movie.  Couldn’t be worse – could it?!