Plate Spinner Friday

You ever have one of those days where you’re too tired to even think anymore? That’s me today. I’ve had a hectic week and have had a lot on my mind. One of my more sarcastic friends (and, yes, I’m referring to you, TVH…) would say I couldn’t possibly have a lot on my mind since I’m blonde.

He’s hilarious, isn’t he?

But I feel like one of those old fashioned plate spinners whose goal is to keep a bunch of plates balanced and spinning on a bunch of sticks. In my case, alas, I think there are more plates smashed on the ground than balanced and spinning on the sticks.

And I think I’ve passed my quota on problems to solve. The Complaint Department is now closed.

Nevertheless, my brain won’t shut down. I want to tell all the thoughts swirling around in my head to shut up for half a second and give me a little peace, but they’re not listening.

Too bad I never got the hang of meditation. The one time I attempted it, I couldn’t seem to “empty my mind.” Instead, I kept peeking to see if anyone else had emptied their heads, but seeing as how I’m not a mind reader, it was hard to tell. Maybe everyone else in the class was faking it, too.

Part of my cranky mood is due to hunger. I’d hurriedly packed some chicken salad for lunch today, but due to an inadequate freezer pack it wasn’t properly chilled and I didn’t feel like starting the weekend off with a case of food poisoning. So instead I ate some pretzels from the big tub in the office. Normally, I make it a point to avoid eating foods in the office that (a) have been sitting around for a month, and (b) have been fingered by the grubby hands of everyone there, including my coworker’s three children and the UPS guy.

But it was either pretzels or nothing, so I ate the pretzels.

Could I have run across the street to the new, swanky little pizza parlor to pick up a “to go” pie? Sure, I could have. Except their food is so ridiculously overpriced, I didn’t feel like taking out a small loan to pay for a little sustenance.

Naturally, my food dilemma occurred on the very day that I promised myself to watch the carbs. I didn’t even pack crackers to have with my chicken salad for that very reason. So what do I eat? Pretzels. Are they carb-laden? Sure, they are! Might as well have run to Kroger and bought a big bag of Wonder Bread while I was at it.

Fortunately for me, it’s Friday. I can power down and regroup over the weekend and come back on Monday with a renewed sense of energy and purpose. I’ll get those plates spinning like nobody’s business. And if that doesn’t work, probably I can use the plates to smash over someone’s head.

Oops. Where did that come from?

I think it's time I sit myself cross-legged down on the floor, close my eyes, touch my fingers to my thumbs in that weird meditation way, empty my mind and say...

“...Serenity now...serenity now...serenity now...”

Yeah. Still not workin' for me.

Oh well. I hope your weekend is fun-filled and stress-free. But take a little friendly advice: stay away from that Wonder Bread, okay? (“Helps build strong bodies 12 ways,” my foot!) And if you see me with a plate in my hand, you might want to back away. Slowly.

Oops.