I saw the funniest thing on the way to work this morning. I was stopped at a red light close to downtown when I saw a young, shirtless guy crossing the street.
Probably he should have kept his shirt on because he was not sporting a six-pack. But apparently he thought he had something impressive to show off. He was also wearing his pants so far below his waist that his drawers were showing. You know the style – right? (And I use the term “style” loosely.)
So there he was attempting to look cool by sauntering across the street with his T-shirt slung over one shoulder and his pants nearly hitting the ground. When he was just about halfway across the street, though, the pants gave up the fight – and fell into a heap around his ankles. Because he was in mid-stride when the tragedy occurred, he just about tripped. He didn’t – but I’ve never seen anyone yank his pants up so fast while trying to keep walking at the same time. He came close to tripping several more times until he managed to pull the pants up to the approximate position on his body that the manufacturer intended when it made them. Ladies and gentlemen, “cool” has left the building.
He furtively looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Uh, yeah, buddy. Hard not to. We were stuck at a red light with nothin’ else to watch. Well, except for maybe the light.
I was laughing, but trying to disguise my mirth by holding my hand over my mouth. The guy in the car next to me, on the other hand, wasn’t even pretending. I could hear his loud guffaws through two closed windows. I’m surprised he wasn’t pointing at the kid, doubled over and holding his belly while yukking it up, but probably the steering wheel was in his way.
Oh well. It brightened my Monday morning. And, yeah, maybe it was at some kid’s expense – but he should know better than to wear his pants so low he cannot maneuver himself across the street without a “pants on the ground” moment.
I figured this fashion faux pas already outlived its 15 minutes of fame, but clearly it hasn’t. The other day when I drove into the Kroger parking lot, I saw two other young dudes wearing their pants so low that I can report that one wore navy striped boxers and the other sported black paisley boxers. Come on. Do I really need to know the color and style of some stranger’s underwear?
My bigger question, though, is this: How DO they walk around like that?
Another “style” I can’t wait to see end also features the backside – mostly worn by teenage girls and co-eds. You’ve seen the short shorts and the sweatpants with the words printed across the behind? Yeah, that fad needs to go away, too. I really do not need to see the word “Juicy” written across some teenage girl’s booty.
What is this obsession with teenaged backsides?
And, yeah, yeah, okay – so a teenager’s backside is probably the best it’s ever gonna look, but there must be better ways to flaunt it without, well, flaunting it. If you know what I mean.
Of course, my generation wasn’t all that much better. We invented the mini skirt – or at least we think we did. Fortunately, Twiggy was older than I was, so I was just a kid when I sashayed around in short shorts and mini skirts. Oh, and does anyone remember those wide-legged hiphugger jeans that were so low that there was only room for a 3” zipper? If thongs had been invented in the early 70s, you’d certainly have seen a lot of “whale tails” back then, too.
And, okay, I admit it. I grew up in the disco era. So I’m not pretending to be superior here. But newer generations should learn from past mistakes, shouldn’t they? Like, if we’re really lucky, we should never again see big, frizzy permed 80’s hair.
But style is a curious thing. Every generation thinks they’ve cornered the market on cool and they truly believe they’ve invented fashion. Most of which we could do without. “Classic” is classic for a reason.
Oh well. Maybe the kid with the low slung pants learned his lesson today. Maybe from now on he’ll hike ‘em up at least to his hips so that he can walk across the street without flashing the commuters.
Or…maybe not. It was, after all, pretty entertaining. And I do enjoy a good laugh now and again.
So, thanks, kid. You made my day!
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