Thursday, October 13, 2011

iCloudy with a Chance of iCranky

I’m tired today and am feeling decidedly less-than-inspired. Actually, I suppose the truth is that I’m feeling decidedly cranky. 

For some reason, we’ve been staying up later and later this week and I think I snagged – maybe – 5-1/2 hours of sleep last night.  That’s practically pulling an all-nighter – and I can’t do all-nighters anymore. 

Part of the problem was that Apple released their new iOS 5 and iCloud thingies yesterday and I wanted to be in on the cutting edge of technology for once.  So last night around 9 o’clock I started uploading or downloading all sorts of things that had cutesy names beginning with small “i’s” and clicking on things I had no business clicking on. Did I know what I was doing?  Nope.  I did not.

So as of this very moment, I have no idea if my iPhone is iClouded or not.  I don’t even know what that means except that supposedly I don’t have to plug my phone into my computer any longer to back up the stuff on my phone.  Where that information goes, I have no clue.  Will someone now be able to snatch my Uncle Lou’s address out of thin air?  Will all the provocative texts that I’ve sent my husband be accessible to someone by accident?  It’s a frightening thought.

Oh, and if you must know, the most provocative text I’ve sent Vince is: “T O Y,” which means “thinking of you.” 

Yeah, hackers just got bored, too.

By the time we finally decided to get some sleep last night, it was technically this morning.  But my iPhone was still plugged into my computer and iTunes was still updating something or other and warned me NOT to unplug the phone.  Another three hours were needed to finish the task.  Apparently I don’t update my phone enough.

Anyway, my immediate concern was how I was going to manage to wake up on time.  I use my phone as my alarm clock and I was worried I wouldn’t hear my alarm a few hours hence since it would be in the spare bedroom hooked up to my computer. 

Being half deaf means I usually sleep on my good ear so all sound is blocked and I sleep completely unaware of things like rumbling freight trains and meowing cats and nuclear bomb explosions.  So I can hardly be expected to hear the ringing alarm clock sitting on the bedside table a foot away from my head, can I? 

But Vince is very good at nudging me to get me to wake up and turn off the alarm.  I don’t like being nudged.  Of course, Vince probably doesn’t like listening to ringing alarms.

So when Vince suggested he’d nudge me awake when he heard my alarm go off in the other room, I reluctantly agreed – but only because I didn’t think I had another choice.  We couldn’t use the alarm on Vince’s phone as an alternative since it was plugged into his computer downstairs going through the same machinations as mine.

So all night I kept waking up because I was afraid of oversleeping.  Grr.  I did manage to drop off into a sound sleep, but, naturally, it was a scant 20 minutes before Vince poked me and said he heard my alarm.

Poking, in this case, is the same as nudging and I don’t like being poked either.  But I grudgingly got up, fumbled around for my glasses and then stumbled out of the room to shut off the alarm. 

In my groggy state, I forgot that the phone was still tethered to the computer – so as I grabbed it from the desk, it ricocheted and landed back on the desk, but my hand kept going – and I smacked myself in the nose. 

Now I was mad at my phone.  And it was still buzzing and ringing. 

I quickly disengaged it from the computer and did the swiping thing to get to the menu where I could shut it off.  Except that that didn’t work.  Apparently with this new upgrade, you have to answer all sorts of questions before you can use the phone. 

I kept trying to hit Cancel so I could do the set-up later, but it either wouldn’t let me – or I wasn’t awake enough to figure out how to do it.

Under normal circumstances, entering passwords and answering questions wouldn’t be a big deal.  These weren’t, however, normal circumstances and I was getting more irritated because the buzzing and ringing sounds were so incredibly grating.  How I am ever able to sleep through that noise is a mystery, deaf ear notwithstanding.

By this point, I was afraid I was going to wake up the entire neighborhood if my alarm didn’t shut off, so I tried smothering my phone underneath a pillow while I struggled to key in the answers to the questions.  Like that helped.

So then I tried holding my thumb over the speaker, but that barely muffled the sound.

Meanwhile, I’m frantically tapping answers and filling in the blanks.  On the fly I even had to set up some new email account. For what reason, I have no idea.  I have more than enough email accounts.  And I’m not even exactly sure what name I selected – although I clearly recall it telling me I couldn’t change it once I picked something.  That can’t be good. 

Finally, I answered enough questions that the phone seemed to be satisfied and it allowed me to get to the normal screen where I could turn off the infernal alarm.

Obviously, this was not a peaceful, refreshing way to wake up in the morning after only maybe 5-1/2 hours of sleep.

I was proud of myself, though.  Because when I went back into our room where Vince was soundly sleeping and blissfully unaware of my stressful wake-up call, I didn’t nudge, prod, poke or kick him awake.  Nice of me, huh?

And the next time my phone needs some major upgrade, I think I’ll just toss it in the garbage and buy a new one with the upgrade already installed.  This technological stuff is for the iBirds.

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