Tuesday, May 24, 2011

It's Blog Tuesday! (Yes, I just made that up.)

Where does the time go? I wrote my last blog eons ago and haven’t written a single word since.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I have written e-mails. I have written to-do lists that somehow never quite get to-done. And I have written a comment on a Facebook page or two.

But I have written no blogs.

Perhaps I was restraining myself from responding to all that Rapture nonsense. Or maybe I’ve been in a severe state of depression since learning that Oprah’s last show is tomorrow (25 years!!)

Nah. I don’t believe any of that The-World-Is-Ending stuff from people who don’t know any more about it than I do. And Oprah? Well, sure, I’ve watched her show from time to time over the years and have enjoyed it. She has brought a lot of people to the public eye. I mean, because of Oprah, people know who Stedman and Gayle are. I don’t know about you, but I’m sure I’m better off knowing that there are two people in the world named Stedman and Gayle.

And, okay, so she also introduced the free world to people like Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, Dr. Oz and Maya Angelou. I suppose those people – as well as Oprah herself – have had a positive impact on some folks.

But mostly her show’s end means to me that I’ll never have an opportunity to sit in her studio audience and rake in the loot on an “Oprah’s Favorite Things” episode. Darn.

No, I suppose the real reason I haven’t written any blogs lately is that I have had a lot on my mind. And, believe it or not, I don’t write down every thought that enters my head. Not for public consumption, anyway.

I’ve been getting myself back to the gym lately, which is a good thing. But a time-consuming thing, as well. And we’ve been considering a move. The thought of which overwhelms me. I mean, if you’ve ever read one of my blogs before, you know how much crap we have at home. Fortunately, I suppose, the garage is filled with boxes – so perhaps we’d just have to move boxes from Abode A to Abode B, and that wouldn’t be too difficult.

Yeah, right.

I have to stop thinking about moving or else I’ll get paralyzed here and won’t be able to write another word.

We have a lot of upcoming events on the calendar, some of which are out of town, so I’ve been trying to make sure we don’t double-book and end up in Cincinnati when we’re supposed to be in Columbus hosting dinner for friends.

And in a couple weeks I will be donning my chauffeur cap and driving my parents to Cape Cod, where they’ll “summah at the cahtage.” (Said in your best Thurston Howell the Third voice. And if you don’t know who Thurston Howell the Third is, then stop reading this blog. You’re too young.) Meanwhile, I’m having nightmares that my dad won’t be paying attention to the road and I’ll get us hopelessly lost and we’ll end up in Tampa, despite ol’ trusty Gladys the Garmin Lady telling me where to go.

But my biggest concern at this very moment is the dress I’m supposed to wear in a friend’s upcoming September wedding. It’s short. And practically sleeveless. I haven’t worn short, sleeveless dresses since I was 10. It’s Navy Blue, er, “Lapis” (which is a fancy name for Navy Blue) and has sparkles on it. It would look ideal on a 6 foot, 98 lb. model. I am close to 6 feet, but nowhere near 98 lbs. Notice I didn’t mention the model part? ‘Nuff said.

I suspected that on me, the dress would look like a short, navy blue bag with sparkles. Oops, sorry, lapis bag with sparkles. So I ventured into Macy’s last night and tried it on. And, yes, I did, in fact, look like I was wearing a short, navy blue bag with sparkles. Sigh.

If you ask me, after a certain age – say, 25 – women shouldn’t be forced to wear identical bridesmaid dresses. In any other situation, two women wearing the same dress is verboten. Why should weddings be any different?

My friend wanted her wedding color to be purple, but her mom selected the blue sparkly bag, er, dress. Helpful friend that I am, I tried on a purple dress that didn’t make me look like I was wearing a bag. So I bought it instead of the blue one. Probably, I’ll be exchanging the purple dress, but for now, I’m feeling better about the wedding.

So those are just some of the thoughts swirling around in my little brain. Exciting, huh? Yeah, well, sorry. Next time I’ll try to come up with something better. Maybe the kitties will do something newsworthy and I can write about it. Or I’ll spill something or get into another one of those "Lucy"-type situations. Those are always good for a few words. (Again, if you don't know who Lucy is, stop reading. I'm sure Lady Gaga writes an entertaining blog.)

Ah well. At least I didn’t once mention the crappy rainy weather we’ve had here in Central Ohio lately.

Happy Blog Tuesday. Time to celebrate!

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