Thursday, August 12, 2010

It’s 4AM. Do You Know Where YOUR Thoughts Are?

The other night I was happily snoozing away when the clock struck 4AM and I was suddenly wide awake. It was instantaneous, too. There was no groggy moment when you slowly realize you’re no longer happily snoozing. Fortunately, insomnia is generally not a problem and, believe me, I’m extremely grateful about that!

But immediately my mind started buzzing about the things I had to get done that day and the upcoming events and activities we’re attending and the people I needed to e-mail. I started thinking about the laundry that needed to be done and began making a mental list of the items we need to pick up on our next trip to Costco. Because I wasn’t writing it down, I pretty much knew I would, once again, forget to buy baking soda.

l also lay there wondering if I had something appropriate to wear to to the office so that I wouldn’t freeze since the A/C is set on “sub-zero” while the outside temps would be hovering around 90 and as soon as I stepped foot outside the office I would go from freezing to melting in a nanosecond. So I started wondering what sort of outfit might be appropriate in such a situation? A parka/bathing suit/wool socks/flip flop combo, perhaps? And then I wondered where I’d stored my parka before realizing that I don’t actually own a parka.

So my next thought, naturally, was: Should I purchase a new parka for the 2010-2011 Ohio arctic season? But then I discarded the idea as I’m not a big fan of parkas anyway.

I also wrote an entire blog in my head about this very situation and, let me tell you, it was hilarious! If only I’d been able to take the thoughts in my head and send them telepathically to my computer, you would’ve laughed and laughed! Really! Of course, since it’s (a) no longer 4 o’clock in the morning and (b) I really can’t remember the exact sequence of words I composed in my head, it is (c) not exactly hilarious any longer. Bummer.

Have you ever done this – or is it just me?

There have been times I’ve been lying in bed at night before drifting off to sleep and I compose a letter in my head to some company whose customer service was particularly poor and I feel the need to write a scathing letter that will be taken seriously and not just considered a “customer rant” that will get tossed in the trash. The letter I compose in my head is always better than the actual letter I write the next day.

Why is this?

In the past I’ve even tried to grab the pen and notepad I keep on my bedside table to write down my incredible compositions before they get lost in the vast void of Slumberland. But I can’t write as fast as my mind composes and if I take the time to turn on the bedside lamp, I lose my focus. On the rare occasions I have managed to scribble down my thoughts, I have been utterly unable to decipher them the next morning.

Anyway, back to the other night. Instead of getting out of bed and doing something useful like, say, sweeping out the garage or organizing the spice rack, I tried drifting back to sleep. The predominant thought in my brain at that moment was: Hey-it’s-flippin'-4-o’clock-in-the-morning-and-why-the-*#%&$@!-am-I-awake?

Eventually, I did fall back asleep, but it took awhile. And I didn’t write this down, but I think I dreamed about penguins wearing parkas. Weird, huh?!

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