This was a blog I wrote last year (in a series of three) that I didn't publish for some reason. So I've decided to go ahead and publish them now. Well, the first one, anyway. I don't want to overwhelm anyone with putting all three out there at the same time! I'll get the other two out soon.
My 2025 Trip to Florida:
I was reminded recently of my annual winter trip to Florida when a friend I hadn’t seen in a while asked me about it.
And I had to admit – it was kind of a disaster. Oh, not the “visiting
of friends” part of the trip – that was awesome. But the traveling part
of the trip? Now, that was rather disastrous.
And I’d conveniently put much of it out of my mind lest my
blood pressure begin to creep up once again into the danger zone.
It all began on the morning of my departure when I had to
leave the house around 5 a.m. to head to the airport. I was fully prepared to
drive myself and leave my car in Long Term Parking – even though parking at the
airport these days nearly requires one to take out a signature loan in order to
afford their hefty daily rates.
For some odd reason, I’m not comfortable ordering an Uber for
an early morning airport run in case the driver decides it’s not worth crawling
out of bed that early and leaves me stranded and forces me to come up with Plan
B on the fly.
But my extremely generous and kind friend Debbie volunteered
to drive all the way from Dublin to pick me up and take me to the airport. She volunteered!
Who does that? (Extremely generous and kind friends do, that’s who!)
So Debbie and I confirmed the night before my trip that
she’d be in my driveway bright and early the next morning at 5 a.m. I was
already packed with my suitcase by the front door and I had my travel clothes
set out for the morning. All I had to do was take a shower, brush my teeth and toss on a little
lipstick and I'd be ready to go.
Yeah, right.
After I hung up the phone with Debbie, I got distracted by
something and ended up repacking my entire suitcase – with the end result being
that I didn’t go to bed until about 1 a.m. I set no less than three alarms for
the morning – although by that point, I was only allowing myself a paltry 3-1/2
hours of sleep.
Which, you should know, at my advanced age is not
enough rest. There are no more all-nighters in Jane’s Domain.
In the morning, I was awakened by something that was not my
alarm clock or Siri or Alexa. Turns out it was my extremely generous and kind
friend Debbie frantically knocking on all my doors and windows because I had
not answered her initial knock on the front door. Because I was still
sleeping at 5 a.m.!
When I looked at my phone and saw that it was 5:05 a.m., I
re-enacted the whole Home Alone scene where I sat up in bed in a
complete panic and, well, probably said a dirty word or two.
I then raced to the front door, saw Debbie’s car outside,
but no Debbie – because she was still walking around knocking on windows and
sliding patio doors. So I left my front door open so she’d know I was alive and
ran back to my room to brush my teeth (at least) and throw on my clothes.
I had no time to wash, dry or style my hair; no time to slap
on a little lipstick so I at least looked semi-prepared for a day of travel. Instead,
I threw on some deodorant, sprayed some dry shampoo on my head and spritzed
myself with a little cologne in the hopes that I could fake being daisy-fresh to
any fellow passengers who might get close enough to get a whiff.
We were on the road around 5:20, which is in and of itself a
miracle. Jane in her younger years would have simply missed the flight as she
would not have been caught in public without a face full of makeup and a fully
washed, dried and styled coif.
On the other hand, oversleeping like this was not something
I have ever done before. Ever!
Oh, and by the way, you should know that Debbie had been on
the phone with her husband asking him if he thought she should dial 9-1-1 so
the authorities could break down my front door and check for a pulse.
Thankfully, he either convinced her not to make that call –
or I finally answered the front door in time.
This little snafu was but a precursor to the delays and seat
reassignments and airplane and airport problems I was to encounter.
Fortunately, I have TSA Pre-check, so at least I breezed
through airport security. I waltzed up to the gate to make sure we had no
delays – and then I hightailed it to the ladies’ room so I could do a little
self-maintenance and try to appear marginally presentable for the day ahead.
I had used miles/credit card points to pay for my air travel
– the first time I’d ever used this benefit.
Not sure I’ll use it again – unless it was just coincidence
that I was the one getting bumped to different seats on every leg of my journey
– both to and from Florida.
I knew it was not a good sign when I heard my name being
called up to the desk at the gate. I was told that the airplane on which we
were originally scheduled to fly to the connecting flight in Atlanta had been
struck by lightning and they had to send a different plane.
Really? Struck by lightning? Yikes.
So she moved me to a less desirable seat – but I felt as
though I didn’t have any options. Y’know – lightning strikes being out of their
control and all.
For me “less desirable” is any seat other than the window
seat on the left side of the plane. This is due to being deaf in my left ear.
Planes are noisy enough – and I am forever craning my neck trying to hear
either the flight attendant or my seatmates as they ask me either what I’d like
to drink – or begin some inane sort of conversation that I’m loath to
participate in. (Sorry – but it’s hard for me to talk to strangers on a plane
when I can barely hear.)
The flight attendant, however, was bright and personable.
She had on interesting red and black checked eyeglass frames and we literally
said to each other at the same time, “Ooh – I love your glasses!”
So that was fun. And when she came around asking me what I’d
like to drink, she recognized me and said, “Oh, my eyeglasses girl!” (So…see?
I’m not totally obnoxious to get along with!)
We were delayed leaving Columbus and we were delayed leaving Atlanta. I had received a photo from Debbie showing her snow-filled front lawn with the comment that it had started snowing in earnest as soon as she started driving home. (Remember – this was back in February here in Ohio.) And so I wondered if we would have any sort of weather-related delays in Atlanta.
Well, but of course. Atlanta was experiencing a monsoon and there was
another seat shuffling snafu and a delay in departing.
But the bigger problem was at Palm Beach International
Airport.
We arrived in PBI, but rather than calmly touching down, gliding to the gate and deplaning – we started a holding pattern and spent the next half hour circling with a bunch of other planes. Apparently, there was a “VIP” at the airport who hadn’t yet departed and no planes could take off or land until said “VIP” left.
Passengers were not supposed to be out of their seats – but after
a while the captain allowed folks to use the facilities. Only it became a
free-for-all – and all the people who could no longer hold their bladders were
standing in long lines awaiting the restrooms.
And the longer we circled, the surlier our formerly “bright
and personable” flight attendant became. She was required to sit in the jump
seat during the airport circling maneuver – but all these folks with weak bladders
were blocking her in. Which is apparently a big no-no in Flight Attendant
World.
Finally, we were given permission to land – only to spend another
half hour sitting at the gate without being allowed to deplane.
I was supposed to arrive before 1 p.m. – but I didn’t pick
up my suitcase in baggage claim until nearly five o’clock.
Now I was a little surly since I had had no time for
breakfast (obviously) and my only food all day had been a couple of tiny bags
of pretzels.
Fortunately, Sue and Jeff are great at following flight arrival times and had not spent the afternoon at the cell phone lot of the airport. And instead of going out to lunch, we all went out to dinner. Where I had a big glass of wine to recuperate from my day of travel.
Anyway, I’ve written a book. So time to shut it down.
Stay tuned for part II.
Stay well, my friends. Until next time…
