Thursday, April 11, 2013

Kitty WrestleMania 2013

So Twinks and Jinx have taken over our Jacuzzi bathtub as their personal wrestling ring.  They hop in there in the morning while I’m brushing my teeth and proceed to tackle each other in the hopes of being crowned Kitty Champion of the World.  Or, at very least, Kitty Champion of the House.

Oh, it starts out innocently enough with the first cat to stake out a ringside seat in the tub watching me as I apply moisturizer and roll on some Arrid Extra Dry. But then the other one saunters into the bathroom acting like she is merely checking my progress and making sure I’m on schedule. Then suddenly she takes a flying leap into the tub and lands on top of the other one with a resounding “thud.”

And then Kitty WrestleMania 2013 ensues.

If I haven’t yet retrieved my glasses from my nightstand, I can only hear the jangling and twinkling of the bells on their collars as they roll around in the spacious tub.  If I look over at them, I can only see a blurry tangle of black and white fur.  Since they’re both black and white cats, it’s sort of hard to tell who is winning. 

This morning Twinks was the aggressor, although that is not always the case. Some mornings Jinx gives as good a she gets.

If I’m awake enough, I find it amusing. I start a running dialogue in my head:

“Laaadddiiiees and Gentlemennnnn!  In this corner, wearing the purple jewel-encrusted collar and weighing in at 11 pounds, 1 ounce, is Jinky-‘Killer-is-My-Middle-Name’-Jinx. And in this corner, wearing the sparkly hot pink collar and weighing in at 10 lbs 5 ounces, is Twinkle-‘Don’t-let-the-sissy-name-fool-you’-Belle.”

Once in a while, they act all innocent and lie down together and give each other a bath. Yeah, like they’re fooling me. This display of sisterly affection lasts all of 2.3 seconds before one of them has the other in a headlock.

I used to chastise them and tell them it was not the proper way for female kitties to behave, but these admonishments fell upon deaf ears. Perhaps they are getting back at me for forcing them to wear sparkly collars with heart-shaped nametags?  Or maybe if I’d only named them Spike and Zeus they wouldn’t need to prove how tough they are?

I don’t know.  But I can only assume since no feline ears are bitten during these WrestleMania bouts and no limping occurs afterwards, human intervention has not yet become necessary. It’d be hard to tell if one of ‘em was sporting a black eye, though.

Photo from kittenhood. So it's not a newly developed skill.
Ah well. I suppose no harm is being done.  And they apparently have the Kitty version of ADHD because they never seem to make it to Round 2. One of them invariably has to stop to take a nap, while the other one decides that she’s starving and MUST be fed. Now.

So I guess I’ll continue to allow Kitty WrestleMania 2013 to continue. But if I’m supposed to name a winner, I guess I’d better start leaving my glasses on the counter in the bathroom.  We wouldn’t, after all, want to hear any accusations of
it being faked, now, would we?!

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