Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Tide and Ty-D-Bowl. Subtitle: Arrrgggh!

I have so many things to do today and what am I doing? I’m sitting here doing nothing. Well, not nothing, exactly. I am, after all, typing words in some sort of random order hoping the words turn into paragraphs and magically become today’s blog. I’m also praying for a little inspiration that a subject and a title will occur to me as I’m typing, otherwise I will need to enter “No blog” under today’s date. Sorta reminds me of high school composition class when we had to write about “anything” and I couldn’t narrow it down to one actual topic!

The problem is that we’re getting ready to go on vacation. For me, no matter if I’m going away for two days or two weeks – I seem to think I need to take care of every household-related task, even if it could be comfortably handled upon our return.

I mean, how critical is it that I purchase laundry detergent today? It’s not like we’re completely out of laundry detergent. And it’s not like I’m going to haul a 50 oz. bottle on the airplane with me. For one thing, it’d count as one of my carry-on bags, and I can assure you that I’m going to have a difficult enough time narrowing my carry-ons to my purse and my weekender bag.

But rather than letting it go and figuring I’ll pick up a bottle of Tide next week, I’m obsessing about it. (Obviously. It merited two entire paragraphs!)

So I’ll probably run to the store to buy the detergent as well as assorted other items. Like toilet bowl cleaner. Again, we’re not out, but we’re one bottle short and I don’t like carrying bottles of toilet bowl cleaner from one bathroom to the next.

Oh well. This is just the way I am and I’ve sort of become used to it. Vince, on the other hand, probably thinks I’m a little nuts. Especially when we have to get up at the ungodly hour of 5AM to catch our plane and I’m up half the night before dusting the living room and organizing the fridge.

I guess I do these things for a couple reasons. First, I like to come back to a clean home. That’s a valid reason – right? And, okay, I admit that the second reason is a little weirder. I mean, what if someone had to enter my home and they walked into a mess? They might think the place had been robbed and might call 911 on our behalf.

I can just see that particular call:

OFFICER SMITH: “Ma’am, it appears that your home has been robbed.”
JANE: “What makes you think so, Officer? And don’t call me ‘ma’am’ – it makes me feel old.”
OFFICER SMITH: “Sorry, ma’am…er, ‘lady.’ But your home has household items littering every available surface. And the refrigerator is a mess! Furthermore, it looks like the thieves were interrupted. There are big bottles of Tide detergent and Ty-D-Bowl cleaner right by the door. I guess they weren’t able to carry everything off.”
JANE: “Um, heh-heh, well you see, Officer Smith…we were in a hurry to leave and I, well, I didn’t want to stay up half the night before we left to clean. I guess the place is in a bit of disarray.”
OFFICER SMITH: “Ewww, gross!”

See? This is not a conversation I ever want to have; thus, I clean and stay up half the night before leaving on vacation.

Fortunately, I’m not quite as disorganized as I may have been in the past. Getting married has caused me to be either more “together” – or I have another set of hands I can count on to handle some of the overflow. So we’re nearly packed and two of the three toilets have already been cleaned. And my plan is get the dusting done today – two whole days before our departure – so no all-nighters will be required. Hopefully.

Now if you’ll excuse me…I have errands to run. I think the Ty-D-Bowl man is calling me!

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