Sometimes I feel like a used car whose warranty just expired and
all the parts now need replacing.
Especially lately. Because in the past couple years I’ve been
diagnosed with two bone spurs in my left foot, arthritis in my right knee and
in the last week I found out my formerly pretty darn good teeth are now all
shot to hell and need dental work to the tune of thousands (and thousands) of
dollars.
Too bad we don’t come with an extended warranty. I would’ve
signed right up for that.
I’m also a glutton for punishment. Last week, when we were
preparing for 15 guests for our Father’s Day celebration, I was busy chopping
and cutting and mixing and baking like a mad woman. I was determined to be well
prepared ahead of time. And mostly I was. I had containers with all manner of
food that merely needed to be mixed together or put out on plates and platters.
And all those containers were labeled.
So I was pretty proud of myself for not procrastinating this time.
But it all came to a screeching halt late Friday night when I
decided it was time to bring some of the containers of freshly chopped veggies
and a big bowl of pasta salad to the downstairs fridge.
Vince, who was in charge of the meat, was soaking and tenderizing
and marinating like a mad man. When he heard me say I was going downstairs and
saw me loaded down with food, he asked me to take a plate of half-frozen steaks
down to the fridge. And he proceeded to set the plate on top of the big bowl of
pasta salad.
I said I didn’t think I could carry it all.
And this, folks, right here is when I should have put my foot
down and said “No!” Because I couldn’t carry it all. I got about ten
steps into the hallway and that plate of half frozen steaks slid right off the
container of pasta salad – and landed sideways on my second toe right
behind the nail bed.
The good news is that the plate didn’t break. The bad news is
that my toe did.
I yowled. I think there were actual tears. And I may have even said
a couple bad words.
Vince, to my dismay, thought it was funny. He chuckled and said,
“Hunh. I guess you couldn’t carry it
all!”
But when I took my sock off and we watched my toe swell and turn
purple before our eyes, his laughter dried up. He truly didn’t know I’d hurt
myself.
I guess that maybe I’m
a bit of a drama queen when it comes to stubbing my toe or running into walls
and bashing my elbow. And because I do that sort of thing all the time, he has
gotten used to me not really hurting myself. But complaining about it. Loudly
and with colorful words.
Except this time. Oh, man – did my toe hurt! There was no more
party prep that night. Instead, I elevated my foot and applied an ice pack to my
throbbing and swollen toe.
The next morning, I woke up to find my toe a lovely purplish-black
color all the way to the base. It was pretty clear I was going to lose the
toenail. And I could barely walk on it.
I certainly couldn’t put any pressure on it – so I limped my way
through the day. Sadly, I couldn’t stop working because I still had a list of
things to get done before our party on Sunday.
Because it was so swollen, the skin split and now there was blood.
Oh joy. But I have good friends and family who were willing to help – and they’ve
played nurse with the gauze and tape and Neosporin. I'm not saying they are experts at wrapping...but they've done a better job than I could.
 |
| At least it's wrapped. |
And it’s getting better. But I still can’t walk normally on it.
And I look a little silly with two toes taped together and a big white bandage
on my foot. Plus, I need a pedicure. But that’s not happening anytime soon.
Fast forward a few days and I’m at the dentist’s office. I’m
there to get a tooth removed. Why? Because it had cracked below my gum line and
couldn’t be saved.
I’d been having some pain in my jaw in recent weeks and went to
a dentist to have my tooth looked at. He said I needed a root canal and he
proceeded to drill away. But then he stopped because he said my tooth was
cracked too far down. This was my first root canal and I wasn’t happy about
joining the club. And the worst thing was that it didn’t fix the problem.
 |
| Figures. Mine is the non-treatable one. |
So he sent me to another dentist. This one took X-rays of my
entire mouth and gave me the bad news that most of the teeth that had those old
amalgam fillings needed some repair work. Some major repair work. And she
agreed with the first guy that the tooth I was complaining about needed to come
out.
So she sent me to a THIRD guy. Who knew that dentists nowadays
were so specialized that one only does root canals and another does the tooth
pulling? Not me, that’s for sure.
Back in the day, we went to our family dentist and Dr. Kelleher
did it all. Cleaned teeth. Pulled teeth. Filled teeth. I’m sure he did root
canals and crowns, but back then the worst thing my teeth needed were fillings.
The last filling I had was when I was about 12. And then when I
was in college, I had to have four teeth pulled to prepare my mouth for braces.
Two years of braces, and that was pretty much the end of my extensive dental
work.
For years and years afterwards, I would go to the dentist who
would clean my teeth and tell me I was good to go. I didn’t need root canals. I
didn’t need crowns. Or implants. Or any of that stuff. So I thought I had
pretty good teeth.
But throughout all those years, I would ask various dentists, “Shouldn’t
I have these old fillings replaced? They’ve been in my mouth since I was 12.”
The response I invariably heard was, “If it ain’t broke, don’t
fix it.”
 |
| I THOUGHT they were good teeth. Bad ones were lurking in the back! |
So I thought Dr. Kelleher must have done an ah-mazing job on
those fillings that they’ve lasted this many decades.
Well, I’m sure he DID do an ah-mazing job – but no filling is
going to last forever.
As I recently found out.
The teeth have cracked around those fillings and they all need
some sort of repair work. Fortunately, only the one tooth is cracked below the
gum and needed to be removed.
But lemme just tell you – I don’t like going to the dentist and
I did NOT want to have this procedure done.
When I had those four teeth removed before I got braces, it was
an awful experience. Four strong, healthy teeth in a teenager’s mouth do NOT
want to come out easily. So Dr. Kelleher pulled and yanked and those teeth
cracked and crunched before finally giving up and coming out. While it didn’t
hurt because I was shot full of Novocaine, the sound was so extreme, I was in
tears.
And to this day, I vividly recall the sound.
So when I had to go in this week to have my tooth removed, I
brought an ear plug. And while it wasn’t fun, it was not as traumatic as it was
back in the day.
But now I’m literally hurting from my head down to my toe.
And I’m wondering where I can sign up for an extended warranty.
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