Friday, November 1, 2013

Obviously, I'm Oblivious

I’ve been a little out of it in the last week.  Don’t ask me why.  Let’s blame it on being sleep deprived. Or blame it on my lengthy To-Do list. Heck, let’s blame it on my hair color.  Whatever.  I can’t even get huffy about that last thing because there have been some definite blonde moments lately.

Take last Thursday evening, for instance.  I had to run to two different stores to prepare for the surprise party we were having that weekend and it was getting perilously close to closing time.

But first I had to stop at the gas station.  It had been a couple weeks since I’d fueled up and the car was gasping so I didn’t think I’d even make it to the two different stores unless I stopped.

Knowing that time was of the essence, I had already flipped the switch to open the door to the tank and had credit card in hand. I got out of the car and was all ready to swipe my card with one hand while twisting the gas cap open with the other…except there was no partially opened door to the gas tank.  Instead, I was looking at a smooth, unbroken expanse of white paint.

Huh?  I was completely and utterly baffled. If someone were drawing me as a cartoon, there would've been a big question mark over my head.  But…all I could think was, where did the opening for the gas tank go?? 

And then I realized.

The last several times I had filled up a gas tank, it was on my Dad’s car when I drove them back from Cape Cod– and the tank is on the driver’s side. MY gas tank, on the other hand, is on the passenger side.

Yeesh.  Even though nobody was paying a bit of attention to me, I got totally embarrassed and felt my face flush beet red.

And then I hopped back in the car and drove around the station so my passenger side was closest to the pump and I could actually reach the gas tank.

As I filled up, I kept shaking my head and rolling my eyes at my dopey move. But at least I hadn’t already swiped my credit card.  Had I done that, I would have had to try to change directions at the same pump – and I guarantee you that either (a) I would’ve had to perform car maneuvers far beyond my capabilities, or (b) another car would’ve sneaked into my spot.  Confusion would have ensued. And then I would’ve gotten into an argument with a total stranger.  Hey, what can I say?  Gasoline is just too expensive for me to be filling up the gas tank for someone I don’t know.

Despite my misstep, I managed to fuel up and get to my two stores to order party food. And all before closing time.  Happy endings I can live with.

There have been other blonde moments recently, too.  (Wow. Who knew I’d prefer calling them blonde moments, over, say, early senility!)  But I don’t really want to tell you about swiping my Kroger’s frequent shopper’s card instead of my credit card at Costco (and getting frustrated when it wouldn’t accept it as payment), or wearing my shirt inside out for an entire day. The thing that concerned me most about that last thing is that nobody said a word.  Did THEY not notice? Or were they shaking their heads in sorrow for my formerly (somewhat) sharp mind and on my behalf mourning its loss?

Who knows. I am just hoping that I can catch up on my sleep a little this weekend and can brush away some of those cobwebs.  And, heck we have that whole “Fall Back” thing to look forward to.  I will be glad to gain an hour this weekend.  Let’s just hope I remember to change all our clocks so that I don’t show up for work an hour early on Monday morning.  I do that and for SURE they’ll admit me somewhere for testing.

So Happy October, everyone! Enjoy your weeke... Excuse me? What's did you say? 

Heh, heh.  Why, yes, I do realize it's November. I was, um, just testing you to see if you read all the way to the end...!