Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The Return of The Spelling and Grammar Queen

I recently blogged about “Anonymous” who comments on my blogs. It’s mostly a bunch of nonsensical words strung together with the ultimate goal of getting me (or my readers) to click on their link. “Anonymous” is either one very determined spammer – or a conglomerate of spammers hiding behind the name Anonymous.

Either way, I don’t much care, although it can get a tiny bit annoying with their daily comments clogging up my email.

Except today.  Today, they struck me right in the heart.  They indicated that my blog was “rife with spelling errors” and that they “found it very troublesome.” 

Oh, the nerve! 

Now, I cannot say with 100% certainty that I have never made a spelling error in any of my blogs. Were I so inclined, I could go back and read through them and I would find an errant typo here and there. Despite my attempts, I’m not perfect. (Shocker, I know…) But I am wayyyyy better at grammar, spelling and word usage than many of the blogs I’ve read. And I’m far and away better than little ol’ Anonymous who is now just being a big meanie.

I really shouldn’t care one way or another what Anonymous writes to try to get me to open their link. Most of the time I chuckle and/or roll my eyes when I read either their comment or the name of their website or link. 

So why in the world did I get all bristly when I read their comment this time?

I suppose it’s because I do think of myself as The Spelling and Grammar Queen.  I have co-workers who intercom me just to ask how to spell a word or how to use a word properly in a sentence or what color chartreuse is.  I’m not sure why they assume I’m an expert on that last thing, other than I’m a girl and girls know that sort of stuff. Or perhaps it’s simply because I have an ability to match my clothes to my jewelry. 

Ooh.  Maybe I should be called The Queen of All Things.

Yeah, on second thought, that’s not such a good idea. Why?  Because I am definitely not the Queen of Navigation, for example. Not unless you want me to get you hopelessly lost. Or Algebra. I never could find that stinkin’ X.

And I could never be the Queen of Plumbing, either, as recently evidenced by the fact that we had a leak around our toilet and I had no idea how to fix it. The best I could do was throw some towels on the floor to sop up the leak so as to prevent the water from rotting the flooring underneath the commode and causing the toilet to crash through the floor. Well, that’s what I imagined would happen unless we immediately called a professional plumber. But for all I know, the guy we hired may have tightened a single bolt and then spent the next hour texting friends and telling them how he was making a fortune off another Plumbing-Challenged customer.

So maybe I should stick to being the Spelling and Grammar Queen. Stay with what I know.  And maybe I can also be the Color Expert. After all, I know what color chartreuse is AND I know how to spell it. 

Take that Anonymous. 

You big meanie.

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