Thursday, September 13, 2012

Love and Marriage

Real life. 09/06/09

Last week was our third wedding anniversary – and I’m shocked by this.  No, silly, not that we actually made it to our third wedding anniversary.  I’m shocked by how quickly the time has flown. 

Has every day been blissful and wonderful?  Um,  s-u-r-e? 

Yeah, right.  Like there has ever been anyone ever in the history of the world that has had a blissful and wonderful marriage every single moment of every single day throughout their marriage. 

Heck, even the characters in those smarmy romance novels go through some sort of major conflict on their way to true love and happiness.  And, sure, it’s usually some nefarious villain who wants to inflict bodily harm on the heroine, so her knight in shining armor has to come to her rescue.  Or – because we’re in the age of enlightenment and us womens don’t need no man to take care of us no more – the heroine saves herself, but she knows her white knight could’ve popped the bad guy if only she’d said the word.   

Like no one in real life ever. Anywhere.
Hey, I warned you.  I used the word “smarmy” and everything.  (And apparently in the “age of enlightenment” we use poor grammar. Tsk, tsk.)

But, anyway, back to us.  And, no.  Our marriage is not perfect.  But I’ve gotta tell you, it’s pretty darn good. 

Could it be because we were older when we found each other and fell in love? Yeah, maybe. Could it be that we’ve learned from past relationships and past mistakes?  Perhaps.  

Could it be that we’re just really awesome people?  Oh, yeah.  That’s it. 

No, seriously, I think it’s because we communicate well.  Sometimes I get “quiet” and Vince – brave knight that he is – asks me what’s wrong.  And I feel safe enough to tell him.  Half the time I’m not even sure what the problem is.  But we talk it through and figure it out.    

Other times he does the guy thing of getting silent and pensive.  I’ve read that men get this way when they’re working through a problem.  They figure they are supposed to work it out on their own, so they don’t share with us what is on their minds.  Fortunately, Vince will open the vault for me and we’re able to talk about it.  Not that there are always solutions to every problem, but at least we don’t have any secrets and stand united in whatever situation that has arisen.   

The worst thing we could do would be to ignore something because we don’t want to deal with it.  As Vince says, “We don’t have lumpy carpet in our home.”  (Well, except for maybe when Twinks burrows under the area rug and peeks her little head out. But that’s not quite what Vince is talking about.)

It has been said before that communication is the key to successful relationships – and I’m sure it’ll be said again and again ad nauseam – but sometimes there is a reason things get repeated ad nauseam.   It’s because there is truth to it. 

And, yeah, so we’ve only been married three measly little years and what do we know?  But, c’mon.  I’ve known people who have had marriages fall apart in less time than that.  So at the very least we’re on the right track.

Probably it’s because Vince buys me a lot of flowers.  Doesn’t matter if some of them come from Costco – they still count.  It just lets me know he’s thinking about me.

Pretty Posies. 
So flowers help.  But, really, I think the communication thing matters a lot more than the floral thing.  

Oh, but I just remembered an even better thing: jewelry.  Sparkly jewels really, really help.  Yeah, I’m gonna go with jewelry. 

But…no.  No, I should still stick to the communication thing.  That has more weight and research behind it.

Or maybe it’s just a combination of all three?

Ah well.  No matter what it is, I’m happy to be in this marriage with my husband.  It’s good.  And we’re going to keep working on it to stay good. 

So I want to wish yet again a happy 3rd anniversary to my best friend and husband, Vince.  And happy anniversary to all of you out there who have celebrated, are celebrating or will celebrate another anniversary this year – whether it’s your first or your fortieth.  Remember that communication is the key. 

That, and lots of posies and sparkly things.  That way we can end with...

"...And they lived happily ever after."

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