Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Running Late was NOT in the Plan

Today has not proceeded as originally planned. I got up early this morning and…okay…well, early for me, anyway. (Hey, I consider even five minutes before my normal wake-up time “early” – okay? And this was like a half hour earlier than normal!)

My plan was to fortify myself with some caffeine and then forage in our sadly depleted fridge for some sustenance. I figured I should even have enough time to wash a load of darks and could take my time getting ready for work instead of racing around and flying out the door in a mad dash to get to work on time.

That was the plan. And isn’t it interesting how life throws us curve balls?! (I am not, by the way, very good at fielding curve balls.)

But, anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself.

I headed downstairs and the first item on my agenda was to free the little kitties from their sleeping quarters. Only I discovered that Vince had let them out when he came downstairs at 4:15am – and never put them back inside their prisons, er, kitty condos when he left for work.

Fortunately, the little angels were quietly napping on the loveseat. Since they’re not always quite so angelic, I cringed a little bit as I headed into the dining room because I was sure I’d walk into total mayhem and destruction. But neither the tablecloth nor the candlesticks had been disturbed and no plant on the premises had to give up its life to the little furballs.

Wow. All quiet on the dining room front.

Next, I walked into the kitchen. I wasn’t too worried that they’d gotten on the counter and played field hockey with my car keys – mostly because they’re still a little too small to jump up on the kitchen counters.

Curiously, the front burner on the gas stove was on. Barely, but still on nonetheless. On the burner was the pot in which Vince usually cooks his morning oatmeal. Since he knows very well that I’m not terribly fond of oatmeal, I was sure he hadn’t made extra for me and was attempting to keep it warm until I arose. Since he had left two hours prior, I was a little afraid at what I’d find when I lifted the lid. But lift it I did.

Inside the pot was a mysterious brown substance that looked nothing like oatmeal. Rather than try to make a guess or – heaven forbid! – taste the stuff, I simply turned off the stove, put the lid back on the pot and backed out of the kitchen.

By this point I was thoroughly exhausted.

Okay, I wasn’t technically exhausted from my activities thus far. Technically, I was tired because I’d had a restless night and hadn’t slept very well. But still. I took a little detour to the couch while I decided my next steps…and promptly fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was precisely 8AM. This is precisely the time I should be walking out the door to get to work on time.

Have you ever startled a cat and all four paws lift off the floor at the same time? Yeah, that was me. Two-legged, but the effect was essentially the same.

I think I even emitted a squeak that sounded pretty much like Jinx sounds when she’s hungry – only a lot louder and a lot more panicky.

I dashed to the kitchen, snagged the kitty food and slung it in the general direction of the food bowls. I picked up the kittens and tenderly kissed each one before flinging them into their cages and slamming the locks closed. I ran upstairs and brushed things and washed things and threw on whichever clothes were immediately handy and slapped a little cover stick and lip gloss somewhere on my face and then ran back downstairs.

I grabbed a chocolate chip cookie on my way out the door, which served as breakfast. As I couldn’t even think about taking the time to heat up the coffee and carefully measure the soy milk and sugar-free flavoring I normally use to make the coffee palatable, I yanked a can of Diet Dr. Pepper out of the fridge and hoped that its teeny bit of caffeine would perk me up to get through the rest of my day.

Yeah, well, that didn’t work so well.

Once I caught my breath and my heart rate returned to some semblance of normal, I focused on the road and managed to get to work um…well…within a few moments of my normal start time.

I figured that was pretty good considering I was snoozing at the time I was supposed to be walking out the door. Plus, I didn’t think anyone at work would really want to see me with bed hair, wearing a robe and my fuzzy slippers and sporting morning breath. I did them a favor – right?!

So my plan for tomorrow? I think I’ll just get up at my normal time. Having “extra” time in the morning is just way too dangerous.

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